The Unusual Suspects
by Average Nerd 3456
Summary: *REWRITTEN* Randomness with the Rogues Gallery as they have to put up with each other and their enemies.
1. Cards Against Humanity

"You want me to start the game or what?" The Joker asked his friends.

The Penguin groaned and asked, "Why do we have to play Cards Against Humanity? We normally play poker."

"If you didn't switch the cards out before the meeting, we wouldn't have this problem, clown…" Two Face said.

"Wait, he switched the cards? I hardly noticed." Killer Croc said.

"You're always missing details, Croc. No offense." Poison Ivy said to him.

He shrugged and looked at his cards, scratching his head in confusion.

"I honestly don't even know why I hang out with you guys still…" Catwoman said. "I've been trying to be better for my boyfriend."

"But you're still one of us, Selina. I mean, you're our pal!" Harley Quinn said with a grin.

She shook her head and just looked down at her cards.

"Wait, you have a boyfriend now?" The Riddler asked. "Awww, that's so cute! Congrats!"

"We've been dating for a few years, Nygma. Stop treating it like we recently got together." Catwoman said.

"Do tell the details, little kitten," Talia al Ghul said.

"Daughter, do not taunt her. She is below both of us anyways." Ra's al Ghul, her father, said as he turned his cards down.

"Weren't we supposed to be playing a game or something?" Baby Doll asked.

"Nah, these juicy discussions on the cat's boyfriend are WAY more interesting," The Creeper said.

"I can go first if you wish, Miss Dahl," The Scarecrow said as he pulled up his first card. "This card reads _But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you blank_."

"I got _Uranus_," Clayface said with a groan. "Seriously? That's so unoriginal…"

Joker, Harley, and Creeper snickered in response.

"I got _Spontaneous human combustion_." Mr. Freeze said.

The group let out a few laughs.

"I got _My relationship status._" The Mad Hatter said as he took a sip of his tea.

Two Face covered his mouth to prevent himself from laughing.

"I got _Important News about Taylor Swift_…I HATE her so much though!" The Music Meister said, gritting his teeth.

The group laughed at this.

"Ha! It can't be better than mine!" Roxy Rocket said while holding up her card. "I got _Harry Potter erotica_."

Riddler laughed and shuffled his cards, knowing he had the horrible luck to encounter some Harry/Draco erotica.

"Is that so? I got _A Windmill full of corpses_." Victor Zsasz said.

At that moment, EVERYONE laughed.

"My answer was _My inner demons_." Scarecrow said.

"Well, Jonny, I think it's fair to say that Zsasz here wins this round." Joker said.

The assassin cheered and pumped his fist in the air in victory.

"Now, I get to go for Round 2," Ivy said. "_Lifetime presents blank: The Story of blank_."

And with that, Round 2 began…


	2. Welcome to Showbiz

Music Meister waited patiently for the others to arrive. He couldn't wait to tell the others of his new plan as he squealed once everyone started coming into the room one by one.

"So, why did you need us, Dennis?" Riddler asked as he and Penguin came in.

"Oh, it's a surprise, Edward. Possibly my greatest plan ever!" Music Meister said in a sing-song voice.

"This better be good…" Penguin said under his breath.

Killer Croc walked into the room while chewing on a piece of meat and saying, "Hopefully, this isn't some dumb plan. Just because you were the new guy doesn't give you control over what schemes we've got."

He spits out a bone right as the girls arrived.

"…I still think Jon is going to kill Dany with that fire sword to take out the White Walkers. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it." Ivy said, taking a seat.

"BUT THEY CAN'T DIE!" Harley said in protest.

"It's _Game of Thrones,_ EVERYONE will have to die." Catwoman said to her.

"I recall what Bolton said about if you think that the story has a happy ending, you are not paying attention. I believe he is also talking about the show." Talia said.

"Alright, Prowell, what's SO important that we have to stop watching our show?" Roxy asked.

Joker walked in and asked his group, "Alright, who was the one that called a meeting that wasn't me?"

Everyone pointed to Music Meister, who gave them a smug grin. Soon enough, the rest came in.

"Ugh, this BETTER be good…" Victor said with a groan.

"…and then I said that I would like some tea because my Dormouse had fallen asleep. She laughed at me." Mad Hatter said to Scarecrow.

"No wonder why you broke up with her," Scarecrow said.

"What the hell do you want from us?" Clayface asked.

"Oooh, this sounds like it's gonna be fun! I can't wait to see what you've got in store!" Creeper said while grinning.

"Are you kidding me? I hadn't even finished reading my book!" Baby Doll asked, groaning. "Now, I'll have to put it off until this plan is done."

Ra's al Ghul growled as he looked around at the group and asked, "Who was the one that blew up a bottle of shaving cream in my room?"

Joker and Harley laughed while the immortal terrorist glared at them.

"So, what is the plan?" Mr. Freeze asked.

"I'm glad you asked, Freeze! The reason I called you all over is for one reason and one alone…" Music Meister said. "WE'RE DOING A MUSICAL, MY FRIENDS!"

"Wait, what?" Everyone asked.

"Our musical will be a Disney production!" he said.

"Oh, hell no, I am NOT doing _Frozen_! I refuse to be Elsa!" Mr. Freeze said.

"But we're not doing _Frozen_, silly. We're doing _Beauty and the Beast_!" Music Meister said. "And I've already got everything set up: we've got some special surprises in store for some of the cast and Jervis was helpful enough to get the orchestra set up."

"You're welcome." Mad Hatter said with a nod.

"Wait, you were in on this?" Penguin asked.

He shrugged in response.

"When exactly is the show?" Victor asked while crossing his arms.

"Why, it's tonight," Music Meister said with a grin.

Everyone froze and stared at each other like a group of deer in headlights. Wait, they had to prance around in silly costumes in front of a live audience TONIGHT?

They asked questions and began yelling in protest. Why them? They were a group of wanted criminals and now, they were singing show tunes.

"What about rehearsals?" Baby Doll asked. "Back in my day as an actress, they had us do dress rehearsal."

"We'll do it later, but first…the parts!" Music Meister said before throwing the scripts at them. "The parts are Belle, Beast, Gaston, Lefou, Lumiere, Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts, Chip, The Wardrobe, The Feather Duster, The Footstool, The Triplets, The Asylum Owner, The Narrator, The Enchantress, and the Ensemble."

"Who's playing Belle and the Servants?" Roxy asked.

"It's a surprise, my dear, not to mention the people who are part of the ensemble. Also, you and Victor are part of the set crew." Music Meister said.

"Oh, I bet that'll be fun…" Victor said sarcastically.

"I'll go first, I'm playing Beast." Music Meister said, making everyone groan.

"Of course you are!" Everyone said.

"Now, tell me, my friends, what roles did you get?" he asked.

"I'm Gaston," Joker said.

"I get to be Lefou? Yay, I'm your sidekick, Mr. J!" Harley said, kissing him on the cheek.

"I'm…Chip." Baby Doll said. "WHY DO I GET TO BE CHIP?!"

"I am…the Feather Duster? I AM NOT SOMETHING MEANT TO CLEAN!" Talia said while slamming her fist on the table.

"Ugh, I'm the Footstool…" Killer Croc said.

"I'm Triplet 1…ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?" Clayface asked.

"Triplet 2," Ivy said, raising her hand.

"And I'm Triplet 3," Catwoman said as she stared at the script.

"I am the Asylum Owner." Ra's al Ghul said.

"And I'm the Narrator! Easiest job in the world!" Creeper said.

"I am Maurice…" Mr. Freeze said. "Just because I was a scientist does not qualify me to play an inventor."

"I'm…The Enchantress?! But she has no lines!" Scarecrow said. "Oh…I'm part of the ensemble as well."

"So are we." Penguin, Riddler, Two Face, and Mad Hatter said.

Music Meister grinned and clapped his hands, saying, "Now, that we have our cast…chop, chop! It's time for rehearsal! We have several hours until show time!"

A groan came from the group. This was going to be fun…


	3. No Time For Rehearsal

**Several hours later, backstage… **

"Alright, everyone, let's do it from the top! We don't have much before show time!" Music Meister said as he adjusted his prince costume.

Everyone screamed as they ran to put their costumes on. Their rehearsal hadn't even begun! Had they seriously wasted time doing nothing?

"Who did you bring to watch the show, Denny?" Joker asked, slinging his prop musket over his shoulder.

"Just a few…friends who are dying to watch our performance." Music Meister said before turning to Victor and Roxy. "Both of you, get to your positions quick!"

They immediately went to get in position as Penguin and Riddler peaked at the crowd from backstage. There seemed to be a large group of people in the audience, along with tons of familiar faces, even Commissioner James Gordon and Captain Harvey Bullock were there (they were tied to the chairs in the front row). In the back was Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen, who were at the theater to review the show for the paper.

"Ed, our son is in the audience!" Penguin said to his husband, gesturing to the emo kid who was too busy looking at his phone.

"Then, we should give Chris the greatest performance he has EVER seen!" Riddler said as they moved back.

"FUCK YOUR MOTHER!" Scarecrow said as he put a black cloak over his poofy dress.

"AT LEAST YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE IN A DRESS!" Clayface (as his former self, Matt Hagan) said while gesturing to his outfit.

"Can we PLEASE just cancel?" Baby Doll asked with a groan.

"No, we have a full house tonight!" Music Meister said.

"But what about the rest of our cast?" Ivy asked him.

"They have already rehearsed and have their costumes on. You'll see them soon enough!" he said before checking his watch. "IT'S SHOWTIME!"

"DAMN IT!" Everyone said in unison.


	4. Act 1 Part 1: Surprises all Around!

As the orchestra played the overture, the cast observed the crowd one last time before Music Meister gestured them to move back, which they did. He pulled Creeper aside.

"This is the prologue, it's your only part as narrator, after this, you're in the ensemble, understand? DON'T think about screwing this up, Ryder," he said.

"Got it, boss…wait, I only get one scene?!" Creeper said while gripping on the storybook.

Music Meister rolled his eyes and pushed him out once the prologue music started playing and the curtains rose. The former reporter grinned at the audience as he flipped through his book.

"Hey, folks. I'll be your narrator. The name's Jack Ryder, but I prefer The Creeper! Narrating is my middle name," Creeper said.

Music Meister groaned before the madman began reading.

"Once upon a time, in a far-away land, a young prince lived in a shining castle…" Creeper said while Music Meister came on stage. "I wish I had a castle."

In the back row, Jimmy took a picture of the stage.

"Jimmy, no flash," Lois said to him.

"Sorry…" he said.

"Although he had everything his heart desired, the prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind…what an asshole! Why are we even rooting for him?" Creeper said, watching the star/director twirl around on stage. "But then…dramatic pause…" 

"Did he seriously just say dramatic pause?" Bullock asked Gordon.

"He did…" the commissioner said.

"…One winter's night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold." Creeper said as Scarecrow came on stage with his cloak's hood up and held out a flower. "STRANGER DANGER!"

Jimmy snickered as Lois rolled her eyes and began taking notes.

"Repulsed by her haggard appearance, the prince sneered at the gift and turned the old woman away…I'm with you, dude, I would call the police." Creeper said, watching Music Meister stick his nose up at the rose and turn away from Scarecrow with his hand out.

"WE GET IT, CONTINUE THE DUMB PLAY!" Scarface said while the Ventriloquist held him up.

"…But she warned him not to be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within. That's our moral, kids!" Creeper said with a grin.

"Spoilers much?" Jimmy asked Lois.

"What is wrong with these people?" Gordon asked.

"I want to die…" Bullock said.

On stage, Scarecrow tapped Music Meister on the shoulder as he glared at him and Creeper said, "And when he dismissed her again, the old woman's ugliness melted away, revealing…dramatic pause…"

Scarecrow took off his cloak, revealing his poofy white dress.

Pegasus covered his mouth to prevent himself from laughing as he watched from the balcony seat.

"…A beautiful enchantress! Oh yeah, that's pretty hot." Creeper said. "The prince tried to apologize, but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love in his heart…uh, rude."

Music Meister got on his knees and begged to Scarecrow, who shook his head at him. The star/director got up.

"And as punishment, she transformed him into a hideous beast and placed a powerful spell on the castle and all who lived there, even if the servants didn't do shit. Double rude." Creeper said.

Scarecrow moved his hands around as Music Meister spun in a circle and made growling sounds. He gestured for Roxy to move the tower in as she nodded and got the castle set in.

"They didn't even try with the makeup and by that, they put none on him…" Bullock said.

Scarecrow exited to the backstage area while Music Meister got onto the tower where the rose from earlier was in a glass case.

"Ashamed of his monstrous form, the beast concealed himself inside his castle with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world…wait, I thought this was _Beauty and the Beast_, not Snow White." Creeper said as Music Meister picked up the mirror prop and looked at his reflection.

He put the mirror down and gestured to Victor to turn the rose's light on. He nodded and pressed a button on the control pad, turning the rose on.

"The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom for many years…that doesn't make sense, I thought it was supposed to wilt and stuff." Creeper said. "If he could learn to love another and earn their love in return before the last petal falls, the spell will be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time…this guy's NEVER getting a girlfriend."

"Just like everyone involved in this shitty production," Bullock said, making Gordon roll his eyes.

"As the years past, he fell into despair and lost all hope…dramatic pause…" Creeper said as Music Meister dramatically put his hand over his head and fake cried. "For who could ever learn to love a beast? Seriously, stop being so dramatic."

They both exited the stage while Music Meister looked up at Roxy and said, "Village set."

She nodded and moved the tower set back and dropped the village set down. As the orchestra started their next song, Dinah Lance, also known as Black Canary, came on stage, much to the surprise of Penguin, Riddler, Two Face, Mad Hatter, Scarecrow (now out of his Enchantress costume), and Creeper who noticed her and the rest of the ensemble.

"You kidnapped the Justice League to perform with us?" Two Face asked Music Meister.

"Isn't it wonderful?" he asked.

"You fool! This is just an ego trip of yours to get her to love you, isn't it?" Mad Hatter asked.

Music Meister shrugged and pushed them onto the stage as Dinah begun to sing.

"_Little town, it's a quiet village. Every day like the one before. Little town, full of little people, waking up to say…" _she said.

"_Bonjour!" _Two Face said.

"_Bonjour!" _Zatanna said.

"_Bonjour!" _Mad Hatter said.

"_Bonjour!" _Dick Grayson, also known as Robin, said.

"_Bonjour!" _Arthur Curry, or Aquaman, said.

Dinah made her way towards Penguin and said, "_There goes the baker with his tray like always, the same old bread and rolls to sell. Every morning just the same, since the morning that we came, to this poor provincial town."_

"Good morning, Belle…" Penguin said with a groan.

"Good morning, monsieur!" Dinah said.

"Where are you off to?" he asked.

"The bookshop," she said as she hugged the book close to her chest. "I just read the most wonderful story about a beanstalk and an ogre and— "

"SHUT UP!" Penguin said, throwing his tray prop aside. "I QUIT! THIS PLAY IS HORRIFIC!"

In the audience, The Baker leaned towards Anarky and said, "That's my boss there, cool, huh?"

On stage, Dinah opened her book and read as she walked while the ensemble continued the song.

"_Look there she goes, that girl is strange, no question. Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?" _they said.

"_Never part of any crowd._" Raven said.

"_Cause her head's up on some cloud." _Ray Palmer, also known as The Atom, said.

"_No denying she's a funny girl, that Belle," _the ensemble said.

"_Bonjour!" _Hal Jordan, or Green Lantern, said.

"_Good day!" _Starfire said.

"_How is your family?" _Hal asked.

"_Bonjour!" _Barbara Gordon, also known as Batgirl, said.

"_Good day!" _John Constantine said.

"_How is your wife?" _Barbara asked.

"At least she's doing better than they are…" Gordon said.

"That's our girl," Bullock said with a slight smile.

"_I need six eggs!" _Beast Boy said.

"_That's too expensive!" _Cyborg said.

"_There must be more than this provincial life!" _Dinah said as she approached Riddler, who stood near a stand with books.

"Ah, Belle!" he said with a smile.

"Good morning, I've come to return the book I borrowed," she said while putting the book on the stand.

"Finished already?" Riddler asked.

"Oh, I couldn't put it down. Got anything new?" Dinah said.

"Not since yesterday," he said as he laughed.

"That's alright. Let's see, I'll borrow…" she said before picking up one of the books. "This one!"

"That one? But you read it twice!" Riddler said.

"But it's my favorite! Far off places, daring swordfights, magic spells, a prince in disguise!" Dinah said, holding the book close.

"If you like it all that much, it's yours. I insist," he said.

"Thank you! Thank you very much!" she said as she walked away from him.

"_Look there she goes, that girl is so peculiar, I wonder if she's feeling well. With a dreamy far off look and her nose stuck in a book, what a puzzle to the rest of us is Belle!" _the ensemble said.

"_Oh, isn't this amazing?" _Dinah asked. "_It's my favorite part because…you'll see." _

She opened the book to a page and hugged it, saying, "_Here's where she meets Prince Charming. But she won't discover that it's him till Chapter 3!" _

"_Now, it's no wonder that her name means beauty, her looks have got no parallel._" Kara Danvers, or Supergirl, said.

"_But behind that fair façade, I'm afraid she's rather odd," _Barry Allen, also known as The Flash, said. _"Very different from the rest of us." _

"_She's nothing like the rest of us. Yes, different from the rest of us is Belle!" _the ensemble said.

Backstage, Music Meister said to Victor, "Gunshot sound effect please."

The assassin nodded and pressed a button on the console, which caused a sound effect to activate. Right on cue, Harley ran out on stage with Joker standing in the shadows of it.

"I've got it, Mr. J!" she said before a plush duck was thrown beside her.

Harley quickly put it in the bag she was carrying and ran up to Joker, saying, "Wow, you didn't miss a shot, puddin'! You're the greatest in the whole world!"

"I know," Joker said as he blew smoke away from his musket.

"No beast alive stands a chance against you…and no girl for that matter." Harley said, kissing him on the cheek.

"It's true, Lefou. And I've got my sights set on that one," he said before pointing to Dinah.

"WHAT?!" she asked.

"She's the one. The lucky girl I'm going to marry." Joker said.

"Is this true, puddin'?" Harley asked.

"The most beautiful girl in town!" he said, staying on script.

"What about me?" she asked.

"That makes her the best! And don't I deserve the best?" Joker said.

"YOU'RE DEAD AFTER THIS SHOW'S DONE!" Harley said.

Ignoring her, he continued to sing, saying, "_Right from the moment when I met her, saw her. I said she's gorgeous and I fell…" _

"I'M GOING TO WIPE THAT STUPID GRIN OFF YOUR FACE!" she said.

"_Here in town, there's only she, who is as beautiful as me," _Joker said while admiring his reflection. "_So, I'm making plans to woo and marry Belle!" _

"Oh no, you won't…" Harley said under her breath.

Clayface, Ivy, and Catwoman got on stage and watched Joker and Harley walk past them.

"Oh my god, that's famous actor Matt Hagan as one of the triplets! I loved him as that one terrorist in James Bond!" Jimmy said. "I gotta get his autograph after the show."

"Hopefully, if we have time…" Lois said as she took some notes.

"_Look there, he goes. Isn't he dreamy? Monsieur Gaston! Oh, he's so cute! Be still, my heart. I'm hardly breathing! He's such a tall, dark, strong, and handsome brute!" _the three said before fainting on stage.

Harley shot a glare at them as the ensemble gathered to simulate a crowd while Dinah read and walked through them as Joker shoved his way to her.

"_Bonjour!" _Starfire said.

"_Pardon,"_ Joker said.

"_Good day," _Raven said.

"_You call this bacon?" _Mad Hatter asked.

"_Ten yards!" _Barbara said.

"_Excuse me," _Joker said.

"_I'll get the knife," _Cyborg said.

"_Please let me through!" _Joker said.

"_This bread—" _Two Face said.

"_It's stale!" _Zatanna said.

"_Madame, it's a mistake." _Beast Boy said.

In the middle of it, Dinah spun and said, "_There must be more than this provincial life!" _

"_Just watch, I'm going to make Belle my wife!" _Joker said.

"NO, YOU WON'T!" Harley said as she stomped her foot in a rage.

"_Look there she goes, that girl is strange, but special! A most peculiar mademoiselle!" _the ensemble said. "_It's a pity and a sin, she doesn't quite fit in. Cause she really is a funny girl. A beauty, but a funny girl. She really is a funny girl…that Belle!" _

"_Bonjour!" _Ray said.

"_Bonjour!_" Hal said, waving to him.

"_Bonjour!" _Scarecrow said.

"_Bonjour!" _Raven said.

With that, the song ended as Dinah looked back at the crowd who went to mind their own business. As for the audience, the only sound of clapping came from Penguin and Riddler's son, Firebird, who was more or less doing it sarcastically. Everyone else was in complete silence.

"That was terrible," Gordon said.

"For once, we agree on something." Bullock said.

Little did they know that it was only the beginning of the insanity…


	5. Act 1 Part 2: Bats and Beasts

**Previously on The Unusual Suspects… **

"Once upon a time, in a far-away land, a young prince lived in a shining castle…"

"WE'RE DOING A MUSICAL, MY FRIENDS!"

"Did he seriously just say dramatic pause?"

"But what about the rest of our cast?"

"I thought this was _Beauty and the Beast_, not Snow White!"

"They have already rehearsed. You'll see them soon enough!"

"FUCK YOUR MOTHER!"

"You kidnapped the Justice League to perform with us?"

"Oh no, you won't!"

"Isn't it wonderful?"

"For who could ever learn to love a beast? Seriously, stop being so dramatic."

**And now, back to our regularly scheduled program…**

* * *

Joker walked towards Dinah with Harley following close behind him.

"Hello, Belle," he said.

"Bonjour, Gaston," she said as he took the book from her. "Gaston, can I have my book back please?"

"How can you read this? There's no pictures!" Joker asked.

"That basically sums up his intelligence," Bullock said to Gordon.

"Well, some people like to use their imagination," Dinah said, crossing her arms.

"Belle, it's about time you get your head out of those books and pay attention to more important things. Like me," he said while he threw the book off stage and Harley swooned.

"She stole our line!" Catwoman said to Clayface and Ivy.

Joker stopped and went backstage where Music Meister stood and said, "I don't like this line, it's kind of sexist and Eddie will get pissed about the whole reading thing."

The star/director groaned and pushed him back out onto the stage.

"What's wrong with her?" Clayface asked.

"She's crazy!" Catwoman said.

"He's gorgeous!" Ivy said.

Harley glared at her best friend.

"I need to go help my father. Goodbye." Dinah said.

"That frosty emo? He needs all the help he can get!" Harley said before laughing with Joker.

"Don't talk about my father that way!" she said.

"Yeah, don't talk about her father that way!" Joker said as he punched Harley.

The audience cringed right when that happened.

"Ooof…" Gordon said under his breath.

"My father's not crazy, he's a genius!" Dinah said.

"Mechanical sound effect please!" Music Meister said to Victor in a sing-song voice.

"Dude, he literally makes the sounds when he enters the room. We don't need it!" the assassin said.

Music Meister shot a glare at him before rolling his eyes.

The two clowns laughed and exited the stage while Mr. Freeze entered and pushed an odd contraption on stage.

* * *

**Meanwhile, at Blackgate Prison… **

Ferris Boyle didn't expect that the prison guards would make him watch a play on the computer. This was the same place that held infamous mobsters like Maroni and Falcone, why would they make them some play on the internet with no other excuse other than it's "art"?

And here he was, watching some play being livestreamed and reading the comments, which mainly consisted of "LOL, are they on drugs or something?" or "The acting sucks." It was then that the CEO of GothCorp saw a familiar face appear on screen.

"Victor?" he asked.

* * *

**Back at the theater…**

Dinah ran up to Mr. Freeze, asking, "Papa, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, but it's no use, I'll never get this contraption to work!" he said.

"Wow, what great acting…" Bullock said sarcastically.

"Let him be, Harv." Gordon said.

"Let's see…the actor playing Maurice is very wooden." Lois said as she wrote her notes.

"Yes, you will, papa, and you'll win first prize at the fair," Dinah said. "Maybe even become world famous?"

"You really believe that?" Mr. Freeze asked.

"Absolutely!" she said.

He pretended to work on the machine and asked, "So, did you have a nice time in town today?"

"I've got a new book," Dinah said with a shrug. "Papa, do you think I'm…odd?"

"My daughter? Odd? Where did you get an idea like that?" he asked.

"People talk," she said.

* * *

**One heartwarming song and a set change later… **

Mr. Freeze pushed the contraption through the forest set. As this happened, backstage, Music Meister gestured to Victor.

"Wolf howls please," he said.

"Got it, chief." Victor said under his breath, pressing the button.

As the effect went off, Mr. Freeze jumped, not showing any emotion. The ensemble then came on stage while holding onto stuffed wolves and making growling noises.

"This is so annoying…" Penguin said with a groan.

"Did you know that the movie this musical is based on was the first animated film to be nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars?" Riddler asked, which made his husband roll his eyes.

Dick looked up and saw Starfire flying and holding the wolf plush, making him groan as he said, "Kori, wolves don't fly."

"Oh! I apologize," she said as she landed on the stage.

"Stay back!" Mr. Freeze said, swinging his freeze gun at the stuffed wolves. "Back! Back!"

"Wow, he put so much emotion into this…" Bullock said under his breath.

"I wish they had better effects for this," Jimmy said.

"We all can't have Jim Henson quality puppets, Jimmy," Lois said while focusing on her notes.

The ensemble then pushed the machine prop backstage as Mr. Freeze groaned and watched them leave.

"Castle set, interior," Music Meister said to Roxy.

"Got it," she said as she pulled down the set.

Mr. Freeze entered the "castle" and looked around.

"Hello? I'm a traveler who lost his way." he asked.

"I can't move…" Clark Kent, known better as Superman, said, clumsily moving on stage in the shadows dressed in a poofy brown suit.

"At least you don't have your legs tied together," Bruce Wayne, also known as Batman, said as he hopped beside him in an ugly gold suit over his costume.

"Who said that?" Mr. Freeze asked.

"Over here!" Bruce said, hopping out of the shadows and waving his stiff arm at him. "Hello, Freeze…"

"Batman?!" Gordon and Bullock asked in unison while the villains around them laughed.

The icy villain backed away right as Clark stumbled into the light and looked at his costume.

"I look like a marshmallow," he said.

Mr. Freeze then examined him and said, "I've never seen a clock who could talk before…"

"You're soaked to the bone, monsieur…ugh, why me?" Bruce asked himself as he led his enemy to a nearby chair.

"No, not the Master's chair!" Clark said before nearly falling over. "I demand that you stop this at once!"

Suddenly, Killer Croc ran on stage with a large ridiculous cushion on his back and dog ears on the side of his head.

"Uh…bark! Bark, bark!" he said.

"Hello, boy…" Mr. Freeze said, watching him straighten himself under his feet.

"I can't believe this, I can't believe—" Clark began to say before falling over. "HELP!"

Suddenly, Talia ran on stage, wearing an ugly brown shirt with a white bonnet on her head and a skirt that was obviously made from black and white feather boas.

"Oh my! We have an actual person here!" she said before taking a seat on Mr. Freeze's lap.

"Talia?" Bruce asked.

"This dress is rather uncomfortable…" she said to him.

"Can someone please—" Clark began to ask, but Diana Prince, or Wonder Woman, ran in while pushing a cart that had a chipped cup on it with one hand.

She was dressed in a poofy white dress with a matching bonnet sloppily covering her tiara and her right arm stuck in a pointed position.

"Would you like some tea, sir?" she asked.

"No tea! NO TEA!" Clark said while she lifted him up with her free arm.

Mr. Freeze got up from his chair and approached the cart. The cup turned to face him, revealing Baby Doll.

"Hiya! My name's Chip!" she said.

"Why, hello there." Mr. Freeze said.

Victor pushed the button to activate the growl sound effects as the actors on stage jumped in fear.

"Oh no…" Baby Doll said under her breath.

Music Meister then jumped on stage and glared at the servants and Mr. Freeze.

"I had nothing to do with this, master! I swear, it was his idea!" Clark said before stumbling around.

"Please, master, try to understand: this man was stuck in the cold and attacked by wolves. He needed help!" Bruce said.

Music Meister ran towards Mr. Freeze and grabbed him by the neck, asking, "Who are you? What are you doing in MY castle?"

"Please, I mean no harm…I—" Mr. Freeze began to say.

"YOU'RE NOT WELCOMED HERE!" he said before noticing him looking at him. "What are you staring at?"

"Nothing! Nothing!" Mr. Freeze said.

"So, you've come to stare at me, haven't you?!" Music Meister asked.

"No, I was only looking for a place to stay!" the former scientist said.

"I'll give you a place to stay…" he said under his breath while dragging him away.

"No, please! NOOOOOOOOO!" Mr. Freeze said.

After that, everyone exited the stage.


	6. Act 1 Part 3: Ego Trip

Roxy changed the set from the castle to the village right as Music Meister gestured for her to do so.

Joker, Harley, the ensemble, Clayface, Catwoman, and Ivy got on stage and got into position.

"Oh boy, Belle's gonna get the surprise of her life, huh, puddin'?" Harley asked.

"Yup, this is her lucky day!" Joker said before walking away from her.

"Wait, what?" she asked.

He went up to the ensemble and said, "I'd like to thank you all for coming to my wedding. First, I've got to go in there and…propose to the girl."

"WHAT?!" Harley asked.

The ensemble laughed while Clayface, Ivy, and Catwoman fake cried. Joker pointed to Harley.

"And you, Lefou, when Belle and I come out that door—" he began to say.

"Oooh, I know! I know! I know! I'll strike up the band!" Harley said as she conducted the orchestra.

Everyone in the audience covered their ears at the uneven music while Joker rolled his eyes and threw his musket prop at her.

"Jim, are your ears bleeding?" Bullock asked.

"Yeah, they are." Gordon said.

"Not yet!" Joker said.

"Sorry, Mr. J…" Harley said, rubbing her head.

* * *

**A bunch of songs, an imprisonment, and more set changes later… **

Dinah groaned as she paced around the East Wing room set. She TRIED following the script, but it was so hard to resist the urge to punch that flamboyant peacock who claimed to have a crush on her.

He HAD to make this play a story about Stockholm Syndrome…however, she was smarter than that.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she crashed into something.

"Whoa, careful there!" a familiar voice said behind her.

She turned and saw her boyfriend, Oliver Queen, also known as Green Arrow, wearing a poofy wardrobe costume.

"Ollie?" Dinah asked, whispering.

"Yeah, it's me, no need to panic." Oliver said before lowering his voice. "Look, besides me, Bruce, Diana, and Clark are stuck in these ugly outfits with no mobility."

Dinah nodded and opened up one of the drawers on the costume in hopes to find a way to get him out. She began rummaging through it, only getting through ladies' underwear.

"No luck, sorry," she said.

"Great, now what?" he asked.

Music Meister felt his blood boil as he watched this before glaring at Roxy.

"What did I do?" Roxy asked.

"Tavern set, NOW!" he said.

She nodded and switched the set as Dinah and Oliver left the stage and Joker, Harley, Clayface, Ivy, Catwoman, and the ensemble came on stage.

"Who does she think she is? That girl has tangled with the wrong man! No one says no to Gaston!" Joker said as he glared at the fireplace.

"Serves her right…" Harley said under her breath, giving him two beer mugs.

"Dismissed! Rejected! Publically humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear!" he said before throwing the mugs into the fireplace.

"More beer?" she asked.

"What for?" he asked. "Nothing helps. I'm disgraced!"

"Who? You? Never. Mr. J, you gotta pull yourself together." Harley said.

With that, she began to sing.

"_Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Gaston. Looking so down in the dumps,"_ she said as she got punched by Joker.

The audience cringed again at this.

"_Every guy here wants to be you, Gaston!" _Harley said. _"Even when taking your lumps!" _

Joker turned away from her as she came up behind him and said, "_There's no man in town as admired as you! You're everyone's favorite guy! Everyone is awed and inspired by you and it's not very hard to see why!" _

With that, after Joker was turned to face the rest of the actors on stage, Clayface, Ivy, and Catwoman then swooned all over him, making Harley grit her teeth in anger.

"This song was made for him," Bullock said.

Gordon nodded in response.

"_No…one's…slick as Gaston. No one's quick as Gaston. No one's neck is incredibly thick like Gaston's!" _Harley said while dancing around the stage. "_For there's no one in town half as manly…" _

"_Perfect, a pure paragon!" _Ivy, Catwoman, and Clayface said.

"_You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley. And they'll tell you who's team they'll be on!" _Harley said as she stood beside Constantine, Mad Hatter, and Two Face.

"_No…one's…been like Gaston! A kingpin like Gaston!" _the ensemble said.

"_No one's got a swell clef on his chin like Gaston!" _Harley said, stroking Joker's neck.

"_As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!" _Joker said while flexing.

"_My, what a guy, that Gaston!" _the ensemble said. "_Give five hurrahs! Give twelve hip-hips!" _

"_Gaston is the best while the rest are all drips!" _Harley said.

Joker then punched Harley and fought the ensemble as they said, "_No…one…fights like Gaston! Douses lights like Gaston!" _

"_In a wrestling match, nobody bites like Gaston!" _Beast Boy said.

"_For there's no one as burly and brawny!" _Catwoman, Ivy, and Clayface said.

"_As you see, I've got biceps to spare!" _Joker said as he flexed again.

"_Not a bit of him scraggly or scrawny!" _Harley said.

"Yet that's what he is," Gordon said to Bullock.

"Nice one," he said with a laugh.

"_That's right! And every last inch of me is covered with hair!" _Joker said.

"Oh god, someone give me brain bleach…" Lois said under her breath.

"_No one hits like Gaston, matches wits like Gaston!" _the ensemble said.

"_In a spitting match, nobody spits like Gaston!" _Harley said.

"Gross…" Jimmy said.

"_I'm especially good at expectorating!" _Joker said before spitting.

The ensemble held up signs and said, "_Ten points for Gaston!" _

"_When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large." _Joker said. _"And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs, so I'm roughly the size of a barge!" _

"More like a stick, but if he eats that many eggs, why doesn't he have heart disease yet?" Bullock said while Gordon shrugged.

"_No…one…shoots like Gaston, makes those beaus like Gaston!" _the ensemble said.

"_And goes stomping around wearing boots like Gaston!" _Harley said.

"_I use antlers in all of my decorating!" _Joker said while gesturing to the set.

"_My, what a guy…GASTON!" _the ensemble said.

With that, the song ended as Mr. Freeze entered and said, "Help, someone help me!"

"Maurice?" Cyborg asked.

"He's got her! He's got her locked in the dungeon!" he said.

"Who?" Dick asked.

"Belle! We need to go after it, not a moment to lose!" Mr. Freeze said.

"Slow down, Maurice. Who has Belle locked in a dungeon?" Joker asked.

"A beast! A horrible beast!" the icy villain said.

The ensemble laughed in response.

"Is it a big beast?" Ray asked.

"Huge!" Mr. Freeze said.

"With an ugly face?" Scarecrow asked.

"Hideously ugly!" he said.

"And sharp, cruel fangs?" Barry asked.

"Yes! Will you help me?" Mr. Freeze said.

"Alright, old man, we'll help you out." Joker said.

"Thank you!" he said before being dragged off stage.

Once he was gone, Joker said, "_Lefou, I'm afraid I've been thinking…"_

"_A dangerous pastime?"_ Harley asked.

"_I know, but that wacky old man is Belle's father. And his sanity's only so-so…" _Joker said. "_Now, the wheels in my head have been turning since I looked at that looney old man. See, I promised myself I would be married to Belle and right now, I'm evolving a plan!" _

"Don't marry her!" Harley said.

They then began whispering to each other as the ensemble listened in.

"Now, I get it!" she said.

"LET'S GO!" the two clowns said in unison.

Jimmy then hummed _We Like to Party_ to himself as Lois raised an eyebrow at him.

"What? It's from a YouTube video," he asked.

"_No…one…plots like Gaston…" _Joker and Harley said.

"_Takes cheap shots like Gaston," _the Crime Syndicate's leader said.

"_Plans to prosecute harmless crack pots like Gaston!" _his girlfriend said.

"_For his marriage we'll soon be celebrating, my, what a guy…GASTON!" _the ensemble said.

The audience was silent again once the song ended.


	7. Act 2: A Comedy of Errors

**A ton of songs, set changes, and failed escape attempts later… **

"This better be the last time I use the tavern set…" Roxy said under her breath while she moved the set in.

After she did that, Ra's al Ghul, Joker, and Harley walked on stage and got into position.

"I don't usually leave the asylum in the middle of the night, but your friend here said you would make it worth my while," the immortal terrorist said as he put a hand on Harley's shoulder while Joker gave him a bag of money. "I'm listening…"

"You see, I've got my heart set on marrying Belle, but she needs a little…persuasion." Joker said.

"She doesn't deserve him. AT ALL." Harley said before her boyfriend threw a beer mug at her.

The audience cringed at this again. Ra's al Ghul rolled his eyes and groaned before Joker broke into song…

* * *

**One "romantic" dance scene, more songs, an angry mob, and an epic final battle later…**

After his death scene, Joker took off his costume and tried to sit up on the cushion that protected his fall, but Harley, now out of costume, stood above him with her hammer in hand.

"Harley, baby, you know it was all just a role, right?" he asked her.

She didn't respond and whacked him on the head with the hammer, which knocked him out cold.

This was it, the end was near. Dinah knew that once she did this one last scene, she was getting her friends and boyfriend out of this theater, but first, she had act like she cared about the man who was obsessed with her.

Music Meister collapsed as she pulled him close to her and held him.

"You came back…" he said.

"Of course, I came back, I couldn't let them hurt you…oh, this is all my fault!" Dinah said.

"Maybe, it's better this way," Music Meister said.

"Don't talk like that!" she said. "We're together now! Everything will be fine!"

He then stroked her hair and said, "At least, I got to see you…one last time."

With that, he closed his eyes and let go of her hair. She gasped and fake cried into his shoulder.

"Please, please don't leave me…I love you!" Dinah said.

She felt like she was going to vomit when she said those words as she dramatically threw herself away from him.

"Please let this be over, please let this be over…" Bullock said under his breath.

Backstage, Victor pushed the fog machine button, which activated on stage around where Music Meister was while Dinah continued her crying.

"This is it, Jimmy, the last scene. Just let me write my notes and we'll be gone," Lois said. "Maybe I'll get you backstage to take your selfie with Matt Hagan before we go back to Metropolis."

"Awesome!" Jimmy said.

The fog machine deactivated as Music Meister stood back up…now dressed in his normal outfit.

"This isn't part of the show…" Gordon said.

On stage, Dinah backed away while the music obsessed villain approached her and held out his hand.

_Do this ONE more time, Dinah. If he tries anything, knock him out…_she thought.

She took his hand and stroked his cheek, saying, "It IS you!"

Suddenly, he pulled her into a kiss, much to her surprise. Once he was done, she punched him right in the face and took her dress off, revealing her hero outfit.

Dinah gestured for the other heroes to come on stage, now freed from their costumes.

"Holy crap, is that Superman and Supergirl?!" Jimmy asked before taking a picture of the stage while the other villains arrived, also out of their costumes (Clayface was now in his true form and Scarecrow was now in his villain outfit).

"Suddenly, this play just got better…" Lois said as she took the last of her notes.

Catwoman flipped from the stage and into the audience, using her claws to free Gordon and Bullock. In response to this, the villains in the crowd retreated in fear.

Once they were gone, Gordon said, "Thanks."

"Save it for later, you two need to leave," she said to them.

"Got it." Bullock said.

With that, they left while Catwoman went to get the mind control devices off of the orchestra.

What happened next on the stage was the battle of the century: sets were collapsing, villains were being thrown everywhere, and lasers, magic, ice, Batarangs, and other weapons sailed through the air.

Jimmy took one last picture of the stage right as Lois dragged him out. As for the villains, the last things a lot of them saw was something crashing down on them before everything went black…


	8. Waking Up

Catwoman paced around the hospital's waiting area. It had been around a day or two since the play incident and the livestream was the most watched video that week with the views only rising from people that missed out watching it.

She was about to call Bruce when a nurse asked, "Miss Kyle?"

Catwoman nodded and ran after the nurse, putting her phone in her pocket. Were her friends alright?

"What's the news? Are they fine?" she asked.

"Your friends are alright and they're good to bring back home, but they're a little…off," the nurse said.

"How off? They're always off."

"They can't remember anything on who they are or what happened to them that landed them here."

"So, they have amnesia?" Catwoman asked.

The nurse nodded in response as she opened the door to their room. There stood the rest of the group, who stared at her in confusion.

"Where are we?" Roxy asked while looking around.

"Thomas Wayne Memorial Hospital," the nurse said.

"When do we eat? I'm starving." Killer Croc said.

"Now, THAT'S more like him!" Catwoman said to the nurse before turning to Penguin. "Do you know my name?"

"Selina…I think?" he asked.

"Exactly, what's his name?" Catwoman asked while pointing to Ra's al Ghul.

"Ra's al Ghul. Honestly, I'm not sure…" Penguin said with a shrug.

"And how do these two know each other?" Catwoman said as she pointed to him and Talia.

"They're…siblings?" he asked.

Riddler raised his hand and asked, "Can I ask something?"

"Go on, Ed. Ask me anything." Catwoman said.

"Who the hell do you think you are and could you please give me a reason why I shouldn't send the police on you?" he asked.

"NO! Don't even think about it!" Catwoman said.


	9. Getting Explanations

Once they returned home, Catwoman sat everyone down in a circle as she cleared her throat.

"Can I just call the police? She followed us home." Riddler said.

"No, please, Ed. I just want to explain things to all of you," Catwoman said, pulling a chair into the circle. "I want to fill you in on what you've obviously forgotten. I'll start with…you."

She pointed to Joker, who was shocked by this.

"Me?" he asked.

"Yes, you. Your origins are a mystery and you change it all the time to confuse everyone. You and Harley here are dating and you enjoy teasing everyone. Also, you're the leader of this group." she said.

"I am? Wow." Joker said.

Catwoman then pointed to Harley and said, "You used to be a psychologist at Arkham Asylum and fell in love with Joker, who convinced you that Batman was a terrible person, so you decided to become his henchman and girlfriend. You're also one of my best friends."

"Now, I get it…" Harley said. "Actually, no, I don't get it. Sorry."

"And you, Mr. I'm-going-to-call-the-police," Catwoman said to Riddler. "You used to work in forensics for the GCPD. You developed some split personality and killed your ex-girlfriend, which lead you into nearly killing yourself, but your husband here saved you. You two got married and adopted a son. Did I mention that you're the middle child of five siblings?"

"Wait, we're married?!" Riddler asked Penguin in shock.

"As for him, he used to be the umbrella boy for Falcone's right-hand woman. Later, he killed her and ruled Gotham's crime for a while, but his mother got killed by the Galavan siblings. You already know the rest. He also had a crush on the Commissioner and had an abusive father." Catwoman said as she gestured to Penguin.

"I killed someone?" Penguin asked.

Catwoman nodded and turned towards Scarecrow, saying, "You were a professor in psychology and used your own students as experiments for your fear toxin, not to mention that you grew up with an abusive father after your mother left the two of you. You and Jervis are best friends and you have a crush on Harley."

"I don't understand, why would I experiment on people?" he said to her.

"Because of your father's twisted experimentations on you," she said before turning to Two Face.

"Why are you looking at me?" he asked.

"You were Gotham's district attorney, probably the best the city has ever had. You had an older sister who hated your guts, but that's another story. The reason why your face is screwed up is because of an explosion that was accidently caused by Rupert Thorne. You even flip this coin to make your choices." Catwoman said before gesturing to her other best friend. "We also used to date and you dated Ivy here."

"We did?" he asked as he looked at her and then Ivy.

"So, what's my story, stranger?" Ivy asked Catwoman.

"You used to be a botanist and were mentored by Dr. Jason Woodrue…until he injected you with toxins, which gave you plant based powers and venomous kisses, so you killed him. You then tried to kill Harvey while you two were dating. Since then, you've flirted with everyone and you're one of my best friends," she said, turning towards Mr. Freeze.

"Why me? The hell did I do?" he asked under his breath.

"Believe it or not, you used to be normal," Catwoman said. "You wanted to cure your dying wife, but the CEO of GothCorp knocked you into these chemicals that made you into this."

"I have a wife? Where is she?" Mr. Freeze asked.

"She's frozen in this tube in the basement, which you made into your lab." she said.

With that, Catwoman turned to Mad Hatter, who raised an eyebrow at her.

"May I help you, miss?" he asked her.

"You're an…interesting case. Your parents died when you and your sister were young, but she had this thing in her blood that made people go crazy, so the Commissioner and the Captain went after both of you and she was killed in the conflict. Fast forward later, and you were convinced that you're the Mad Hatter from _Alice in Wonderland_, so you held your ex-girlfriend, Alice, against her will despite the fact that she was engaged. Also, you and Professor Crane are best friends." she said.

"Why, I would NEVER do such a thing!" Mad Hatter said.

Catwoman groaned and said, "Never mind…anyways, Matt, you used to be a normal actor, but your face got messed up in an accident, so you became obsessed with this face cream made by Roland Daggett. In return, you impersonated people for him, but one day, you stole the cream, so his henchmen dumped it on your face, resulting in you becoming like this."

"Is that so?" Clayface asked.

Killer Croc looked at Catwoman and asked, "What about me?"

"You were born this way and you mainly think with your stomach. Also, your biggest accomplishment is throwing a rock at Batman…" Catwoman said.

"I did? I guess I don't know my own strength…" he said as he tilted his head in confusion.

"And as for you…" she said to Ra's al Ghul. "You're the head of this terrorist organization obsessed with ridding the world of evil and you're immortal because of this mystical spring thing."

"I don't understand, who are you again?" he asked.

Music Meister raised his hand and asked her, "Can I go next?"

"Sure, your father died when you were young, so your mom remarried. You got blinded by accident by your stepfather and were picked on a lot at school for being in the choir and drama club. You discovered that you can mind control people through singing. When you were a teenager, your crush was killed. Years later, you developed a crush on Black Canary. You also did that play that everyone's talking about." Catwoman said.

"I did a play? Was it good?" he asked.

She ignored him before turning to Talia.

"You're one of Ra's al Ghul's daughters. You have a sister named Nyssa and two brothers named Dusan and Arkady, the latter is long dead. You used to date Batman, I believe." Catwoman said.

"Is that so?" she asked while her friendly rival nodded in response.

"And you," Catwoman said, staring at Baby Doll. "You were the star of this sitcom and suffer from Systemic Hypolasia. You once kidnapped all of your cast members because you were lonely."

"Why would I do that? If it is true, I didn't mean to…" she said.

_Now, she's sounding like herself. _Catwoman thought.

"Wait, are you forgetting someone?" Creeper asked.

"You used to be a reporter before you fell into a vat of chemicals when Joker and Harley sprayed you with laughing gas. You then went insane and developed a crush on Harley," she said.

"Uh…" he said in response.

Catwoman shook her head and turned to Roxy.

"And you were a stunt woman who had no regard for your own safety, which got you fired. You have a crush on Batman because he survived one of your stunts with you," she said.

"Got any evidence for that?" Roxy asked.

"Lastly…" Catwoman said, looking at Victor. "You lived a nice lifestyle, but you got bored and were responsible for over 275 murders. You then took a job as Falcone's top assassin until you switched allegiances and started working for Penguin."

"Okay…?" he asked.

"So, that's all of your stories." Catwoman said after taking a deep breath.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR HOUSE, YOU PSYCHO!" Two Face said once his coin landed on tails.

_Crap! _Catwoman thought as her friends chased her.


	10. Back to Normal

Catwoman quickly turned a corner and hid, trying to strategize on what to do about her blood thirsty, amnesia suffering friends. She HAD to reverse this process and get her friends back to normal (or their version of normal) before they killed her.

_Come on…think, Selina, think! There HAS to be something you can do! _she thought.

"I've got her scent, guys! She's close…" a familiar growling voice said.

_No, no, no, no! I am NOT getting eaten by him. _Catwoman thought, gripping onto her whip.

With that, she got an idea: she was going to distract them and get their memories back. All she needed was for them to go up to her before she can strike. Their footsteps got closer and closer…

"There she is!" Joker said as they surrounded her.

She braced herself until Scarecrow looked at Music Meister and suddenly had a flash of him handing him some poofy dress. Clayface had a similar flash, but the dress wasn't as poofy.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" they said, tackling the singer.

"Hey, get off of me!" Music Meister said as he failed to fight them off.

At last, they were distracted…she just needed to take out the others or find ways to have them take out each other.

"Give us a reason that I shouldn't call the police," Riddler said while approaching her.

"I'm sorry, Ed…" Catwoman said before slamming his and Penguin's heads together.

"Hey, you can't do that!" Baby Doll said, only to get kicked into Mad Hatter's chest.

"Oh my!" Mad Hatter said while collapsing from the force.

The remaining villains then charged at her, but Catwoman dodged them with ease and used her whip on them.

Soon, half of them were taken out, leaving Killer Croc as the last one standing. She HAD to be stuck with seven-foot tall crocodile man out of all people…

"You're very silly to face me, kitty," he said.

"Croc, I just want to get your memories back. You don't have to do this," Catwoman said. "Hell, you don't have any rocks to throw at me!"

He scoffed and lunged at her, but she flipped onto his back and wrapped her whip around his snout, shutting it.

_Please let it work, please let it work, please let it work…_Catwoman thought.

"Wait, how was the play?" Roxy asked as she and the other villains woke up a few moments later.

"Welcome back to normal, guys. Well, as normal as you all will be." Catwoman said.

"What happened? What do you mean by normal?" Mr. Freeze asked.

"You tried to kill me," she said.

Harley then hugged her and said, "We're sorry!"

"It's fine, Harl. You guys weren't being yourselves." Catwoman said in a reassuring tone.

_At least I still have a pulse and they didn't murder me…_she thought.


	11. A Night to Remember

It started out as an ordinary day for the villains: Creeper was showing Joker a video of the worst pageant ever on his phone, Harley was talking with Ivy and Catwoman, Two Face was absent-mindedly flipping his coin, Killer Croc was eating some raw meat, Riddler was cuddling Penguin, much to his disapproval, Roxy was practicing her flips, Mr. Freeze was sitting in the corner and looking at his snow globe, Music Meister was humming to himself, Ra's al Ghul was reading Paradise Lost while Talia was listening to music, Scarecrow was listening to Mad Hatter talk about his "friends" from Wonderland, Baby Doll and Clayface were playing _Risk_, and Victor was outside getting the mail.

"How about another video?" Creeper asked.

"No, not another one!" Joker said in disgust. "Who does she think her daughter is? Eddie?"

"Did someone say my name?" Riddler asked, letting go of Penguin.

"Please, Joker, I may hate your guts, but DON'T encourage him!" Penguin said to his enemy.

"…And then, I told the creep that I'd rather get the Black Plague and lock myself in an iron maiden than associate myself with him," Harley said.

"Let me guess, he was disturbed by it?" Catwoman asked.

Harley grinned and nodded as Ivy said, "Nice one."

"…Cheshire Cat is quite a trickster. He's always popping up on people's heads and waving to me." Mad Hatter said.

"Well then, is he on my head now?" Scarecrow asked.

Mad Hatter nodded and waved to the imaginary cat on his best friend's head.

"So far, you've struck here, here, and here," Clayface said to Baby Doll, gesturing to the points on the map where her game pieces were. "I'm going to confront you in this pass here because there's a city you haven't attacked yet."

He moved his piece towards the mountain pass while she smirked and said, "Then, my army conquers that area and takes out several of your men in a surprise attack."

She moved her pieces and removed some of her friend's from the board.

Everyone went on with their conversations until Victor burst in, holding several pieces of paper.

"Mail's here!" he said.

At that moment, they stopped what they were doing as he began sorting through it.

"Let's see…bills, junk, bills…" he said before pulling out four fancy envelopes. "Oooh, Selina, Ed, Oswald, these are for you."

They took their envelopes and looked at them. Catwoman grinned while Penguin and Riddler looked at each other and the three invitations they were holding.

"Wait, it's tonight?" Penguin asked.

"Looks like it, we gotta tell Chris to get set up for this!" Riddler said with a smile.

Harley and Ivy looked at their friend's expression and the invitation.

"OH MY GOD! Bruce Wayne invited you to his charity party?! Lucky…" Harley said.

"Are you bringing your boyfriend with you, Cat?" Ivy asked.

"Hell yes." Catwoman said.

As everyone was asking about the invitations, Joker smirked at the ones who weren't invited to the party and said, "I've got an idea…"

* * *

**Later that day… **

Catwoman checked her white and black dress in the mirror one last time before walking into the foyer where Penguin, Riddler, and their son were waiting.

"Nice dress…" Firebird said.

"And I like your suits, boys." Catwoman said.

"Awww, thanks, Selina!" Riddler said while smiling.

Penguin checked the time on his phone and said, "Well, we have only a few hours left until it starts. Ready?"

Once the others nodded, they left.

* * *

**At Wayne Manor**

"I'll see you boys around." Catwoman said to the family of gangsters as they moved into the party's crowd.

_It feels great to be away from the others, even if it's just for the night, _she thought before nearly bumping into a man carrying drinks.

"Oh! Forgive me, miss," he said while dusting off his suit.

"No, it's fine…" she said before realizing who it was. "You're Alfred, right?"

"You're quite right, miss." the butler said.

"Cool, Bruce told me a lot about you. Speaking of which, where is he?" Catwoman asked.

Alfred pointed to the end of the buffet table where Bruce was standing and said, "Master Bruce is over there."

She smiled at him and approached her boyfriend, who's eyes widened upon seeing her.

"Selina, you look…amazing!" Bruce said while giving her a kiss.

"And you look great as always," she said.

* * *

Penguin and Riddler were busy looking at the dessert table at the buffet before a familiar voice squealed and said, "Boss! Eddie! You made it!"

A blur came out of nowhere and The Baker hugged them.

"Ooof! Hi, Patricia." Penguin said. "What brings you here?"

"I'm catering this party, duh! It's so superific that you guys are here!" she said.

"Did you get us anything special?" Riddler asked.

"In fact, I did," she said while holding out two trays. "Eddie, I know how much you love my cherry pie, so here's a slice. And boss, I made you a peanut butter cupcake."

They took the trays and thanked her, going off to enjoy their treats.

* * *

Meanwhile, Firebird stood in the corner and watched the party. He loved his fathers and being pampered into the future King of Gotham and owner of the Iceberg Lounge, but the fancy parties weren't his thing. He would rather be out going to dinner with his girlfriend and getting ice cream afterwards or staying at home and working on a new bomb for his next crime.

Sadly, it couldn't happen…he stared up at the ceiling in boredom.

"Not a fan of parties, huh? Me neither," a voice next to him said.

He looked and saw a scarred guy a bit older than him with red hair that had white streaks in them.

"Yeah, I don't…" he said. "Got a name? I'm Christian, but everyone calls me Chris."

"The name's Jason. Pleasure meeting you, Chris. I'm guessing you're Cobblepot and Nygma's kid?" Jason Todd said.

"Same to you, and yes, I am." Firebird said.

Jason drank some of his white wine, saying, "I could introduce you to my friends if you want."

"No, it's fine. I'll—" he began to say before his new "friend" dragged him along.

* * *

As this was going on, Bruce was introducing Catwoman to Oliver and Dinah who were wearing a green suit and a black dress respectively.

"Ollie, Dinah, this is my girlfriend, Selina. Selina, these two are my friends, Oliver and Dinah." he said.

"Hey, I know you. You were the one that helped us escape during the play," Oliver said.

"Yeah, that was me." Catwoman said while grabbing a drink.

"I've gotta say, Selina. You did a great—" Dinah began to say before the door burst open.

Everyone was greeted with a glittery blast of multi-colored gems gleaming under the lights of the manor. The owner of this outfit was dressed in a cyan bedazzled suit with a matching hat that had a white feather in it, a white tie, and a white boa.

"WE'RE HERE!" he said in a familiar sing-song voice.

"Oh god, not him again…" Dinah said under her breath.

Catwoman cringed as she saw her uninvited friends approach. The men, excluding Mr. Freeze, who was just in his armor, were in their best suits (Clayface was in disguise as his old look before the accident while Creeper had the appearance of Jack Ryder, his former self).

As for the ladies, Harley was wearing a red and black Rockabilly dress while Ivy was in a green dress decorated with flowers and vines, Roxy was wearing a flame colored jumpsuit, Baby Doll was wearing a frilly white and blue dress with a blue bow, and Talia was in a purple dress.

"Sir, should I get them to leave?" Alfred asked.

Bruce shook his head and said, "No, Alfred, we'll see how this goes."


	12. Party like it's 1939 Part 1

An hour or so later, the party was getting a bit crazy. Drinks were consumed, the buffet was being restocked, Baby Doll already threw up in one of the plants, and the socialites were getting a little mortified.

"Are they—" Bruce began to ask.

"Friends of mine? Yeah, they are." Catwoman said with a sigh.

She was going to need A LOT of drinks to get through this…

* * *

"…I'm glad things have been going well for you, Veronica." Harley said to her friend, Veronica Vreeland.

"I feel the same, Harley." Veronica said right as a drunken Ivy ran up to the plant Baby Doll threw up in.

"OH MY GOD, WHO'S BEEN FEEDING YOU?!" she asked.

"That's just my best friend Pamela. I call her Red." Harley said to Veronica, brushing this off.

Next to Ivy, a drunken Two Face was slurring to himself and draping over Ivy as he said, "Ivy…you're so beautiful…"

* * *

"This is gonna be great, Victor. I'll go up these steps and go up there before jumping off and landing on the chandelier." Roxy said with a grin.

"Whatever," Victor said as he went to grab some food.

At the buffet, Killer Croc was eating almost everything he saw as Mr. Freeze watched him.

"You know, I haven't been to a party this fancy since I crashed Boyle's humanitarian award ceremony. The second fanciest has to be my wedding…" he said.

Killer Croc just nodded and kept eating.

* * *

Meanwhile, Music Meister quickly got Dinah away from her boyfriend and twirled her around in the middle of the party.

"Care for a dance, my Angel of Music?" he asked her.

"Ew, no! I'm not dancing with you again like in that stupid play!" she said as she shoved him away.

* * *

Clayface groaned after what seemed like the millionth selfie he was forced into that night as he made his way to the bar. Before he could order his drink, he felt something tug at his pants.

"What is it?" he asked, noticing Baby Doll.

"Mommy, I don't feel so good…" she said.

"Then, get some rest," he said before she passed out. "Or just do that…"

He shook his head and picked her up before ordering his drink.

* * *

"And why we should be his friend again?" Damian Wayne asked.

"He doesn't seem too bad, I guess…" Jason said with a shrug.

"He was responsible for nearly blowing up the theater district and he's the son of two of the most notorious gangsters in Gotham," Barbara Gordon said.

As the Robins and Batgirls debated amongst themselves, Firebird snuck away and went into a corner. No wonder why his fathers hated them…

* * *

Back at the buffet, Killer Croc was still eating everything as he held out a cracker with caviar on it to Mr. Freeze and asked, "Want some?"

"No." Mr. Freeze said while holding up his hand.

Killer Croc shrugged and shoved the cracker into his mouth.

* * *

Elsewhere, Penguin was stumbling around as he drank his cold champagne.

"Gordon, what year is it?" he asked.

He pushed past Scarecrow who stared at him in confusion. This was going to be a LONG night…


	13. Party like it's 1939 Part 2

Another few hours passed and the party got even crazier. The socialites, Batfamily, Oliver, and Dinah backed away as the villains, excluding Killer Croc, Firebird, The Baker, and Mr. Freeze, became totally wasted.

Joker, Harley, Roxy, and Victor seemed to not be affected at all, Creeper had returned to his normal self and began searching for Harley, Clayface had gone insane and constantly switched forms of his different roles, Penguin continued his search for Gordon, Scarecrow was muttering phobia definitions to himself and also looking for Harley, Baby Doll was passed out in the corner, Talia was flirting with everyone, Ra's al Ghul was in tears, Ivy was talking to the plants while Two Face was draped onto her, Music Meister was loudly singing _Single Ladies_, Riddler was asking dumb questions, Catwoman was meowing, and Mad Hatter was screeching and throwing chairs around.

"My word!" Alfred said as he dodged a chair that was thrown.

"It seems like everyone got drunker…" Cassandra Cain said.

"You don't say, Cass?" Tim Drake asked.

"My god, this is all a wreck…" Bruce said under his breath, watching the chaos unfold.

* * *

Joker smirked at everything that was happening to his friends. With Harley distracted and talking to Veronica, he could finally get some much-needed time to himself.

Before he could grab a drink, Riddler tapped him on the shoulder and asked him, "Where do babies come from?"

"Well, Eddie, when a man and a woman get together, they do all sorts of things. You know…" he said.

It just got progressively more vulgar as it went on.

"…Sometimes they use different things like turkey basters, candy wrappers…" Joker said.

* * *

"Is he okay?" Veronica asked while gesturing to Clayface freaking out in the background.

"He gets seizures sometimes." Harley said to her.

Suddenly, The Baker came in with a massive white cake on a cart and said, "This has to be my most splendiferous super-duper greatest creation yet! I call it Death by White Chocolate!"

"STAGE DIVE!" Roxy said as she jumped off of the upper balcony.

"Oh god…" Victor said under his breath.

She landed on the chandelier and looked down at everyone, who watched in awe or fear, before jumping…right onto the cake.

"NOOOOOOOOO! MY CAKE! I WORKED ON IT FOR AGES!" The Baker said.

"What's next? Someone's going to mistake that guy singing over there for Beyoncé?" Stephanie Brown asked as she pointed to Music Meister.

"That would be hilarious!" Carrie Kelley said with a laugh.

* * *

"Seriously, where do babies come from?" Riddler asked.

"I just told you," Joker said. "I'm not going to show you though. Ask Pengers over there to do that."

He pointed to Penguin who was still looking for Gordon.

"Harley? Where are you at, babe?" Creeper asked in between laughs.

"Pathophobia is the fear of disease…Harley? Please, can we talk? Cyrophobia is the fear of the cold…" Scarecrow said.

Mr. Freeze let out an annoyed sigh, watching this chaos as an oblivious Killer Croc continued eating everything.

"You know, this cake actually isn't that bad…" Helena Bertinelli said, eating a misshapen slice of cake.

"How exactly will we get them out?" Dick asked Bruce, who shrugged in response.

"We'll just hope that the only sober people in their group get them out…" Bruce said.


	14. The Hangover

**The next morning…**

Two Face opened his eyes and grabbed onto his head in pain, realizing that he was back home in his room. Wasn't he at his old friend's party last night? What exactly happened?

"You're awake already? Wow, Harvey, that was unexpected…" a familiar voice said.

_Oh shit, _he thought.

He looked and was face to face with Ivy, who was smirking at him.

"GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" Two Face said, pointing to the door.

"Fine…" Ivy said as she got up. "But you gotta admit that you liked it."

She gave him a wink before leaving as he grumbled and flipped his coin. Well, he wasn't doing that again…

* * *

Talia woke up, not remembering a thing from last night…until blurs of her flirting with almost all the men at the party came up: some red-haired guy she might've known before, a socialite in a fancy suit, what she assumed was Scarecrow, and…her father?

Suddenly, her stomach tensed and she ran to the bathroom.

"GET THE HELL OUT, I'M SHOWERING!" someone, presumably Victor, said before she started throwing up.

It wasn't like she had a choice…

* * *

Scarecrow was completely confused: how he ended up with some bruise on his neck was a complete mystery. Did he get into a fight?

He shook it off as he went downstairs to grab some breakfast. Before he could get his coffee set up, Ra's al Ghul stared at his neck.

"What is this?" he asked.

Scarecrow jumped at this and shrugged.

"SOMEONE had a good time last night," Roxy said with a laugh.

The psychology professor groaned. This was going to be a LONG day…

* * *

Mr. Freeze worked endlessly in his lab, looking from his work to the tube containing his wife in suspended animation. Ever since he got back from the party, he was able to do more progress on his project.

Before he could continue, he turned on the TV to the news, which showed Summer Gleeson reporting.

"And for this week's viral video, submitted by Carrie Kelley, the Maestro of Villainy himself, The Music Meister was caught singing while drunk at Bruce Wayne's charity party last night…" she said.

The screen then showed Music Meister dancing in the middle of the party and singing loudly.

"_If you like it, then you should've put a ring on it! If you like it, then you should've put a ring on it! Don't be mad once you see that he wants it. If you like it, then you should've put a ring on it!" _he said.

"The video is currently on YouTube and has, as of now, nine thousand views, ten times less than the views for the Gotham City Theater Group's production of—" Summer began to say before Mr. Freeze shut off the TV.

"Nora, this is so ridiculous…" Mr. Freeze said to his wife.

* * *

It may have been a rough morning, but hell, in the back of their minds, they would do ALL of it again if they could.


	15. Criminals and Dragons

**Author's Note: This is just a teaser for a possible upcoming project. Let me know if you want me to do this or not.**

* * *

Riddler squealed in excitement behind the Dungeon Master screen as everyone came in and took their seats.

"This is your plan, Ed?" Penguin asked as he took a seat beside his husband.

He smiled and nodded, opening the reference book and saying, "I've always wanted to play Dungeons and Dragons, but I never had the friends to play it with."

"You do realize that they call it The Devil's Game, right?" Creeper asked.

"Well, I am known as The Demon's Head, so it seems fitting for me," Ra's al Ghul said with a shrug.

"Look, just because there's some demons and evil spells in it doesn't make it demonic!" Riddler said, pounding his fist on the table, which made everyone jump.

"Oh boy, evil Ed came out for a bit…" Harley said under her breath.

He took a deep breath and smiled, returning to normal. Everyone felt calmer as he stood up and left before coming back with two different wheels that had the names of the classes on one and the alignments on the other.

"Alright, we'll each go up and spin these wheels." Riddler said. "Whatever it lands on is what our characters are. We also get to choose names and race, but it has to be fantasy related. We'll go over backstories later. Anyone want to go first?"

Killer Croc stood up and went to the wheels and said, "ME!"

He spun them and it landed on Barbarian and Neutral.

"Ha! Perfect! I'm a Neutral Lizardfolk Barbarian named Brantan!" he said before taking his seat.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! I want to go next!" Harley said as she spun the wheels. "I'm a Chaotic Neutral Half Elf Fighter named Alanis!"

Next was Two Face who spun the wheels after a quick coin flip to decide if he was sure to play alongside his friends.

"My character's named Illus, he's a Lawful Neutral Wight Ranger," he said.

Ivy was next to spin as she said, "I'm a Neutral Evil Succubus Fighter named Xeryah."

"My character is a Lawful Evil Hylian Sorcerer named Avius." Penguin said after it was his turn.

"Wait, Hylian like in _The Legend of Zelda_?" Creeper asked.

"Exactly," Riddler said with a nod.

"Got a Neutral Eladrin Rogue named Kaylessa," Catwoman said. "Why do I always have to be the thief?"

"They're not thieves, Rogues just know how to get what they want." Riddler said.

The next set of people came up and took their chances at spinning the wheel.

"My character is a Neutral Evil Changeling Paladin named Simthorn." Clayface said.

"I am a Chaotic Neutral Tiefling Wizard that goes by the name Azros." Talia said.

"My character is a Neutral Dragonborn Warlock named Igorim." Mr. Freeze said with a sigh.

"I got a Lawful Evil Feykinn Sorcerer…I'll call my character Ursa!" Baby Doll said, grinning.

"I am a Chaotic Evil Hellborn Cleric named Dacular." Ra's al Ghul said.

"My character's name is Nyrielle, she's a Chaotic Neutral Shadar-kai Rogue." Roxy said.

"I'm a Chaotic Evil Yuan-Ti Pureblood Paladin named Vax," Joker said.

"Fantastic! I'm a Lawful Evil Incubus Bard that goes by Keros!" Music Meister said in his sing-song voice.

"My character is a Chaotic Evil Dark Elf Sorcerer, his name is Vant." Scarecrow said.

"Oh, joyous day! I am a Lawful Evil Firbolg Warlock named Inzaac!" Mad Hatter said with a smile.

"Let's see, I got a Chaotic Neutral Eladrin Fighter named Jendrot…alright then." Creeper said.

"And I'm a Neutral Velkarak Rogue named Valusim." Victor said.

"Finally, I'm a Neutral Evil Fallen Aasimar named Venwavel," Riddler said, smiling at his group.

"But if I'm correct, the Dungeon Master doesn't even play the game, they serve as the narrator." Two Face said.

"Aww…" Riddler said with a groan as he pouted. "I had a backstory and everything!"

"Could you PLEASE just start the game, Ed?" Penguin asked.

He nodded and said, "Alright, I'll start…welcome to the Kingdom of Treomore, everyone! Sadly, we have a situation: the evil Forsaken Baron Jaylin has planned to take over the kingdom while ravaging the land and turning innocent creatures into servants of the dark. To defeat him, we must gather pieces of the legendary sword Ashrune, Crusader of Secrets. Do you accept your quest?"

Everyone nodded as Riddler grinned at his friends in excitement. This was going to fun…


	16. Mary Suicide Squad

"…And then, I called Batsy a slut because where else does he find all these kids to be his sidekicks? Some Walmart down the road from his headquarters?" Joker asked with a laugh while staring at his cards.

CRACK! Two Face dropped his cup.

"Jeez, Harvey, that was strong…I like that in a guy," Ivy said.

"Of course, Joker, have you see the—wait? Come again?" Two Face asked.

"Uh, crush me, daddy?" Ivy asked him. "You don't normally act this way when I hit on you."

"I think we're all screwed…" Victor said.

Suddenly, the villains were dabbing and getting down with their bad selves (no pun intended) and doing the worm or some shit. Then, Killer Croc punched Mad Hatter in the face.

Everything basically turned to crap as Mad Hatter cried like the little pussy that he is (A/N: Seriously, fuck that guy!).

"I have the totes funkiest feeling, J-Man." Harley said.

"Please don't revert to being gangsta or some swag crap. It's wiggity wack, yo." Mr. Freeze said.

"Shut up! You just don't get me! It's NOT a phase! I want a divorce, Ozzy!" Riddler said as he ran off in tears.

"Why do I have the sudden urge to make out with women who used to work for my old boss?" Penguin asked.

"And why do I want a Neko girlfriend over Black Canary?" Music Meister asked.

"Like, what's so weird about that?" a voice asked behind them.

"MY EYES!" Baby Doll said as she covered her face.

Then, Laughing Eyeless Queendette Valentina Darkness Raven Persephone Sakura Napier the Killer entered the room.

She had long ebony black hair with purple and red streaks, so she kind of looked like Hayley Williams (A/N: if you don't know who that is, you're a prep, so FUCK OFF). She's also related to Jeff the Killer, but she wished she wasn't since he's hot AF. She's a vampire and likes shopping at Hot Topic too. She was wearing black high heeled boots with red fishnet stockings, a black shirt with a pentagram on it, black ripped jeans, and a pentagram necklace.

"Like, what the fuck are you staring at, you damn pedos?" she asked them.

Oh yeah, she's also a dark goddess and stronger than most men.

"YOU WILL ALL LOVE ME!" Laughing Eyeless Queendette Valentina Darkness Raven Persephone Sakura Napier the Killer said to them. "I HATH TELEKINESIS, BITCHES!"

"Do something…" Clayface said to Ra's al Ghul, poking him.

"Stop it, I'm ticklish!" he said with a laugh.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHY, JARED LETO, WHY?!" Talia asked.

"Because I'm the hot one and the best Joker compared that lame prep Heath Ledger, respect me…sorry, that was the voices in my head." he said before disappearing.

"And then, I told him to just fuck off because he was a stupid prep." Catwoman said.

"Avril Lavinge is a fucking poser prep!" Victor said.

"Stupid preppy fuck! There's only GC, MCR, TOP, Marilyn Manson, and PATD, no other music!" Mad Hatter said as he cried tears of blood and put his middle finger up.

Then, Penguin and Laughing Eyeless Queendette Valentina Darkness Raven Persephone Sakura Napier the Killer [REDACTED] in his [REDACTED] and filled it with [REDACTED] and creamy Italian salad dressing before she gave birth to Ugandan Knuckles, so she slit her wrists because she was depressed, after it was [REDACTED] time as Kenny exploded.

"Oh my god, they killed Kenny!" Music Meister said.

"YOU BASTARD!" Killer Croc said.

And then, Sonic the Hedgehog showed up and [REDACTED] Harley, Ivy, and Catwoman because who gives a shit about Baby Doll anyways?

Later on, some chick that claimed she was eighteen and single, but was in her 70s and with a husband or some crap like that, plagiarized this story and made millions off of it, getting a movie deal, which was totally unfair. In the film, everyone had porn star or stripper names and it glorified abusive relationships as well as starred Harry Styles as "Dick Big" with Liam Payne as "Cherry Pop" and Zayn Malik as "Hard Scott" for some reason.

**They ask you how you are, and you just have to say that you're fine, when you're not really fine, but you just can't get into it because they would never understand…**

* * *

**Author's Note: Gotcha! Happy April Fool's Day!**


	17. The Fangirl

Seriously, what WAS wrong with that dream? Scarecrow guessed that's what happens when you breathe in knockout gas made by Batman…

"I think he's wakin' up, Mr. J!" Harley's excited voice said, ringing through his ears.

God, he loved her to bits…

"Ugh, it's about time. He's been out cold since we escaped Arkham." Joker said with a groan.

_Wait a moment, we were in Arkham? _Scarecrow thought as he sat up.

"I'm sorry that I was out, but I had the strangest dream during all that," he said. "You were all there, but everything was…off, more than usual."

"Really?" Mad Hatter asked his best friend.

Scarecrow nodded and got up, grabbing the briefcase that contained his mask and glove.

"And where do you think you're going, Crane?" Penguin asked while crossing his arms.

"No offense, but I need a break from you guys," Scarecrow said, adjusting his tie. "The dream was too insane even by our standards…"

"I'm the only sane one here though," Catwoman said while watching him walk out the door.

"Please don't tell me that he's going to try to act like he's a good guy during all that…" Creeper said.

"Trust me, Creep, it ain't fun to do that." Harley said.

* * *

**Meanwhile…**

Walking through Gotham City was the best thing Scarecrow could do to clear his mind. In fact, he loved doing it. There's nothing like watching peoples' sanities falling apart to ease him.

When he passed by one of the vandalized walls, he noticed something…odd: there was a large group of people wearing shirts that had him or his friends on them surrounding the wall that he remembered vandalizing with the rest of the group.

_What is this? _he thought.

Scarecrow watched the madness and turned away, unaware that someone had approached him.

"Why are you dressed like you're going to work?" a voice asked.

He slowly turned and saw a girl a bit younger than Harley staring at him. She had wavy dark brown hair that almost looked black and wore a dark purple jacket, a dark grey beanie, and a shirt that had him and his friends on it that had the words _Gotham City Rogues _on it.

Once he stared at her, she took a deep breath and stepped back, wanting to faint.

"I'm sorry…" she said under her breath.

What was wrong with this girl? Scarecrow didn't even put his mask on or inject her with fear toxin!

He raised an eyebrow at her and asked, "Are you alright?"

She shivered as his bright blue eyes stared at her, trying to not blush just by looking at him.

"Your-Your clothes! You're dressed like you're going to work and not like…well…" she said, gesturing to her shirt.

_Just play dumb and maybe she'll go away…_he thought.

"I don't understand…" Scarecrow said.

"The Gotham City Rogues, The Crime Syndicate, The Unusual Suspects! The most notorious criminals in this city! They probably pay attention if you dress like me," the girl said.

"Does it scare them? Dressing in a suit, I mean." he asked.

"Well, one of them is literally the master of fear, so not really," she said before holding out her hand. "I'm Darcy, by the way. I work at the boutique near here, so I come here a lot. What's your name?"

_Crap. I have to think of a fake name…_Scarecrow thought.

"My name is…um…Thomas. Thomas Shelby," he said, shaking her hand.

"Alrighty then, Thomas. I can show you where I work to get you a new outfit. Follow me. My shift ended some time ago." Darcy said.

"No, that'll be—" Scarecrow began to say before Darcy dragged him along.

He regained his footing and gripped onto his briefcase, letting go of her. Darcy's mouth was literally watering as she looked at him walk.

Once they arrived at the store, she dashed in and led him to the men's clothes. Scarecrow followed behind her, unsure on how to do this.

"I think this suits you, Thomas," she said as she picked up an unbuttoned white shirt with a black jacket and dark red pants.

_That's not even my color…_Scarecrow thought.

He faked a smile and said, "I love it! How much is it?"

"Since I work here and you're so special, it's on the house. I insist." Darcy said.

"Awww, thank you so much!" Scarecrow said, keeping his fake smile on.

_How does Nygma or Harley even do this? _he thought with a groan.

Darcy handed him his clothes and walked him to the door, unaware that he threw them into a nearby charity box.

"You hungry? We can head out for some dinner if you want," she asked.

"That would be…great." Scarecrow said.

_If only it would get this all to end…_he thought.

She dragged him out the door and into a nearby restaurant, plopping him into a booth. He stared at the menu in confusion.

"I've never been here before. What do you recommend?" he asked her.

Darcy then ordered for both of them and just stared at him and his briefcase.

"What's in the case?" she asked.

He shrugged and said, "It's not really any of your concern. I work a lot on secret stuff."

"Like what? Are you a spy?"

"Not exactly."

"You're different from the other guys I've met…" she said.

Scarecrow put on his fake smile again. This had to be the hardest thing he had done in his entire life…

"People tell me that a lot," he said while pushing his glasses up. "You're too kind to someone who you just met. It's not the smart thing to do, you know. I might end up being one of those psychos you and your friends worship."

Darcy took a sip of her drink, watching him.

"Well, I do it to help people. A lot of the people living here may love Batman for being the savior of this town, but who's to say that his enemies shouldn't get love too? What do you think?"

"Perhaps they do. Think about it: some of them ended up that way because of society's misdeeds done to them. They were only victims of circumstance, making them misunderstood."

"I guess you're right…" she said with a grin. "Honestly, I'm glad I met you today, Thomas. You have to be the most interesting person I have ever met. You're not like the others at all."

"I was always seen as the odd one out growing up. So, have you actually seen these criminals or even met them?" Scarecrow asked.

Darcy sighed as she looked at him, trying to figure out who he was a fan of.

Penguin fan? He did seem as sophisticated as him. He seemed intelligent and calculating though, but was also friendly at the same time…Riddler fan! It couldn't have been right either…with his quiet tone, he could easily be a Mr. Freeze fan.

"Who's your stan? I can quickly pick out who someone is a fan of just by the snap of my fingers."

Scarecrow frowned at this. Who uses "stan" like that?

"I think they're all fascinating on a psychological level, but I relate a lot to the strawman with the Fear Toxin."

"Oh, NOW I get it…" Darcy said with a nod. "You're a Scarecrow fan. Honestly, he's kind of creepy though."

"Do you mind telling me more about him?" Scarecrow asked.

It felt weird asking questions about himself, not that he didn't mind. This was all just a plan to play dumb.

"Well, he used to be this psychology professor that got fired, so he took revenge until Batman stopped him."

She knew about the other crimes, but the backstory of this criminal was filled with possible rumors of bullying and an abusive father. How was she supposed to go through all the horrific details of that?

Darcy took a deep breath once the food arrived before glancing at Scarecrow, who was staring at his plate and beginning to eat the sandwich in front of him.

She felt like she was dying by watching him as she took quick sips and chewed on the ice. Darcy then looked down, only to be staring at his legs and crotch and slowly looked up at him. She jumped back once she saw those gorgeous blue eyes of his looking right at her.

He raised an eyebrow at her and looked away. Seriously, what was wrong with this person? Majority of the people in this city hated him and his friends, regarding them as soulless monsters who kill and cause chaos for fun, not worship them.

"So, um, do you want another sandwich or something like that?" Darcy asked him.

Scarecrow wiped his face with a napkin and shook his head, saying, "No, but a drink would be fine."

She quickly ordered the drink and got another one for herself before continuing to get to know him.

"If you're not a spy, what exactly IS your job that requires you to carry a case like that and involves secret stuff?"

"I have a... family business. Well, I WAS in a family business, but tensions got high between my brothers and my sister, so I quit and now work as the financial advisor for Arkham Asylum. I'm not allowed to talk about my work with others because of its…unpleasant reputation."

He let out a fake laugh, sending chills down her spine. She was falling for it easily, he could tell…

"Well, that's good." Darcy said.

"It must be nice just selling clothes to people and outright talking about it…" Scarecrow said as the server came back with his drink. "You don't feel like you're keeping secrets because it doesn't risk ruining everything."

"You can say that everything was chill for me growing up. I didn't have any big plans for the future like everyone else, so here I am. What about you?"

He took a sip and tilted his head in confusion upon hearing that.

_Just keep acting like an idiot, Jonathan…you got this, _he thought.

"My father was hard on me regarding the future. You see, we had a successful law firm and only one of us could run the business. He chose one of my brothers while my sister was left as treasurer and I got nothing while the others got the rest."

"OMG, that's SO wrong. Your father's a monster!" Darcy said, watching him clench his fists.

_At least we agree on something…_Scarecrow thought.

"But when he does things, he does them for a reason. That's what my mother used to say to us before she…" he said, his voice trailing off.

"I'm so sorry, that sucks. Family can be hell."

"I appreciate your concerns, but I doubt you can help me."

The server came back with another drink as he smiled and gulped it down. Darcy was practically panting while watching him.

He gave her a small, fake smile. Maybe this was better than he thought…she was easy prey, just a lonely girl desperate for love.

"Why can't I help you?" she asked.

He shrugged and said, "I'm a lone wolf. When I get focused on something, I do whatever I can to get to it without any distractions or anyone helping me."

Darcy nodded, knowing where he was coming from. Most people, well, the cynical ones, live their lives like that. However, he didn't seem that way…

"You should always have friends by your side, no matter how your family has treated you."

"Look, I appreciate it a ton, but I said NO."

He banged his fist on the table, making her jump back. She then grabbed his hand. Oh god, it was so soft…

"Thomas, I like you…a lot. You're interesting, a bit intense, but INCREDIBLY sexy. Maybe we can…have a little fun if you catch my drift." Darcy said.

He glared at her, causing her to gasp. Those eyes were staring into her soul and she couldn't help, but shake uncontrollably. He let out a quick breath while hiding his annoyance.

_Just keep going, Jonathan. _Scarecrow thought while gripping her hand and licking his lips at her.

Darcy let out a pathetic whimper as he said, "Darcy, I'll say this again, you shouldn't trust someone you just met."

"I know…"

She loved holding his hand and looking into those blue eyes of his. All she wanted was for him to rip out her throat or do whatever he wanted.

"Look, the offer sounds…never mind, but it doesn't feel right at this second. I need to accomplish my goals first before focusing on relationships and other things that don't matter at the moment. And you would be quite the distraction if I do say so."

"Thomas, you really do know how to turn a girl on. What's your secret?" she asked.

"I guess it's my charm and good looks. I always saw my appearance as more of a curse," he said with a shrug.

She giggled and got lost in his eyes again before the crashing of some glasses hitting the floor made Scarecrow jump slightly. When he looked back at her, Darcy took the opportunity to bite his shoulder and up his neck.

His muscles tensed at the sudden contact. Seriously, something was wrong with her. She licked his cheek, making him give out a disturbed shiver.

"That was just a sneak peek at all the fun we could have."

Scarecrow gulped while hoping that he doesn't get to "have fun" with this crazy girl who was madly attracted to him and got his hand out of her grasp.

"Well, this is awkward…I should be going. Thanks for dinner."

He got up from the booth as Darcy grinned and stood up, gazing back at his crotch. He was taller than her. They walked out together.

_I shouldn't give her the idea that I love her, she would only get more obsessed. But I could trick her into thinking that…_he thought.

Scarecrow bowed and took her hand. He had seen Riddler do this to Penguin multiple times before.

"I just wanted to say thank you again," he said, letting go of her hand.

"Can I see you again?" she asked.

He shrugged and walked off. She fell for it, everything was going according to plan…


	18. Last Straw

"So, let me get this straight, to get away from us, you went on a walk and some girl went up to you and was super creepy?" Roxy asked as she did chin-presses on the stair railing.

"Exactly. I'm only going to put up with her a bit longer for experimental purposes," Scarecrow said. "Did you know that we have fans?"

She laughed and said, "You sounded like Nygma there with that fact. No, I didn't know we had fans. I mean, it's obvious that people like me, Baby, and Matt have fans since we all used to act."

"I know, I know, but these people were…different. They worship us. No one has done that to any of us before," he said.

"So, there's people who think we're better than Batman, huh?" Roxy asked with an amused laugh. "Cool…"

Scarecrow nodded and checked his watch, smirking.

"Now, if you excuse me, Roxy. I have a date with a psychopathic girl," he said before grabbing his briefcase and leaving.

* * *

**Later… **

Darcy couldn't believe that she had to deal with all this: her boss was being a complete jerk, the customers were being incredibly rude, and she had a massive headache. Thank god she was finished for the day…

"Darcy?" a voice asked.

She turned and saw Scarecrow standing there with his briefcase in hand.

_Hot damn he looks fine…_she thought.

"Thomas!" Darcy said while running up to him. "You look amazing."

He put on a fake smile before noticing her expression.

"Let me guess: you had a bad day?"

"Wow, you're, like, a wizard or something."

"Do you need a distraction to get your mind off of work?" Scarecrow asked.

"I would love one!" she said, giving him a hug.

_Holy crap, he smells like autumn! _she thought.

He tensed as she nuzzled his chest, not sure how to react, but it was another step forward in the plan to manipulate her.

_Think of something, Jonathan! Anything! _he thought.

"I'll see what I can do to make you feel better…"

"Awesome. Maybe you could take me to lunch?"

_Lunch? Why me? _Scarecrow thought.

He nodded and walked with her to the restaurant they ate at the other day. As they sat, Darcy stared at him again while they ate their lunch, making growling noises.

"Are you sure you're fine, Darcy?" he asked.

She looked at him and winked.

"Now that I'm with you, EVERYTHING'S fine…" Darcy said.

He clenched on his glass, trying to keep his annoyance under check as he watched her lick her lips. She was insane…

"I'm so sorry your day was terrible. No one deserves to go through all that. Be sure to keep your sanity in check. Rumor has it that-"

"All it takes is one bad day. I know, The Joker himself said it."

_Keep going, Jonathan…_he thought.

"I want to leave. NOW." she said, standing up.

"Wait, I was just about to get another—" he began to say before she dragged him outside.

"I'm tired of waiting! I want to have some fun with you!"

_Oh shit._ Scarecrow thought.

How he dreaded this moment…something like this wasn't new to him. Hell, he slept with Ivy once. The difference between that and his current situation was that Ivy was bored and he just wanted to help her since they were friends. Darcy, on the other hand, was incredibly horny.

"Can we not do this out in the middle of the streets though?"

_Stall for time. She'll leave you be eventually. _he thought.

Darcy then dragged him into a fancy hotel nearby. He knew EXACTLY where this was going and hated it. Why does it have to be her of all people?

"I come here often, so don't worry about it." she said to him before leading him inside.

They went into the janitor's closet, which seemed like a weird place to "have fun". Good god, he hated doing this…

_No, you can't just give up now, Jonathan. Just a little longer and THEN you can take her down._ Scarecrow thought.

She growled and kissed him. Of course, she just HAD to French kiss him…He wished that he bit her tongue right then and there, but that would be against the experiment. It wasn't the right moment.

Darcy jumped him and climbed him like he was some sort of tree. Scarecrow looked at the briefcase, which sat in a nearby corner of the room (he dropped it when she jumped on him).

"TAKE YOUR DAMN JACKET OFF!" she said.

"Enough, Darcy," he said while her grip on him tightened. "Let go of me."

"No, never,"

"LET. ME. GO."

She scoffed and stripped down to her underwear while he was still in his suit, letting go of him. He knew that she was being pathetic, but he just needed to play along.

When he did this with Ivy, she was the more aggressive one with using vines to tie him against the wall and such (which she normally did with anyone she was interested in), but now, he was the one being aggressive.

Scarecrow pinned Darcy against the wall and smirked at her before giving her a kiss.

"OMG, Thomas! Let go of me!" she said before he started biting her shoulder and neck. "Oh god, anything, but your teeth! Not your teeth!"

_This is what you get for doing this to me…_he thought as he licked her.

"Nice…you're a god at this, Thomas."

"If that's what you think I am, then worship me…"

* * *

**Hours later…**

Scarecrow got out of there before she even left. What was he thinking? She was insane and they did the deed...well, he kept his suit on most of the time, but she nearly ripped his pants off.

That was it, this was the final straw for him. The next time they met, she was going to be shaking in fear and screaming just like the rest of his little guinea pigs.

He stared at his briefcase with restrained excitement since he was FINALLY going to use it in the near future and soon enough, Darcy will learn what true fear is.

_It's time that she knows the truth on how much I despise her…_he thought.


	19. True Fear

_Darcy, we need to talk. Meet me at the boutique after your shift. This is very important. Love, Thomas. XOXOXOXOXO, _the text read.

Scarecrow wanted to vomit as he stared at it and hit sent. Today was the day that he was FINALLY going to bring her down. This was going to be the point of no return, the end of the line for her.

And he was going to love hearing her screams of terror…she did deserve this for putting him through hell the past two days. The creepy behavior, that horrendous moment in the closet…it was all going to end.

_This'll be sure to put a smile on my face and I don't even have to fake it, _he thought while watching the response come up.

_That will be amazing, Thomas! I'm actually clocking out early today, so we can have more time! _Darcy's response read.

Scarecrow rolled his eyes, but smirked as he picked up his briefcase and walked out.

* * *

**Later…**

He walked in as Darcy grinned and ran up to him, saying, "Thomas, you made it!"

She gave him a quick kiss while he caught her panting a bit. This was it, she will finally be done for and never mess with him again.

"I'm glad you waited," he said before turning to an empty dressing room. "Let's go in there."

Darcy nodded and followed him in. The room was small and slightly cramped with a mirror and coat hanger on the wall as well as a bench on the side. Scarecrow took a seat and placed his briefcase down, sighing.

"I don't think I've been entirely honest with you, Darcy…"

"If there's anything wrong, just tell me. I won't judge you, I promise."

She grabbed his hand and used her other hand to stroke his cheek.

"I'm not who I said I was and I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you sooner," he said.

"Are you REALLY a spy?" Darcy asked, letting go of him.

He sighed again and took off his glasses. Now, it was time to bring out the big guns…

"Would you like to see my mask?"

"Your mask? OMG, you're actually Batman?"

Scarecrow let out a small laugh and shook his head, saying, "No, not that either. Look, I want you to close your eyes. It's a surprise…"

"Got it."

_Finally! How I've waited for this moment…_he thought while opening his briefcase and putting his mask on.

"Keep them closed and give me a minute. I still need to get ready."

Darcy nodded as Scarecrow pulled out his glove and put it on. He smirked at the needles that were filled with liquid fear toxin.

_How I missed doing this, _he thought with a chuckle, making his way towards her.

"Can I open them now?" she asked.

"No, not yet," he said. "Give me a moment."

Scarecrow finally got to her and stabbed the syringes into her arm, causing her to scream.

"NOW, you can open them."

Darcy opened them and screamed again, asking, "Oh god! Thomas…please, you can't leave me. THOMAS!"

He smirked and pulled the glove away from her arm, placing it in the briefcase before he took off his mask and put it inside with the glove.

_At last, I'm done with her, _he thought, putting his glasses on and stepping out of the dressing room.

A worker looked towards the sounds of Darcy's screaming as Scarecrow faked concern while staring at the door.

"Oh, poor thing. I had no idea what's wrong with her. Could you help her out?" he asked the worker.

The worker nodded and went into the dressing room, giving him the opportunity to walk out with an evil smile on his face as he deleted Darcy's number from his phone.


	20. The New Guys

Anarky double checked the directions on his phone. The mansion had to be around here somewhere…

He adjusted his headphones and took a deep breath as the sounds of _Welcome to The Black Parade_ filled his ears. Anarky whistled it to himself until he bumped into a group of three other people going in the same direction as him.

"The hell?" he asked himself.

"HEY, KID! WE'RE WALKIN' HERE!" a ventriloquist dummy that was on an old man's hand said.

"P-please don't h-hurt him, Mr. Scarface. I-It was an a-accident!" the man said while pulling the dummy back.

Anarky raised an eyebrow at this as the others looked at him: one of them was muscular and taller than the others while one looked a lot like that corrupt businessman he hated, Bruce Wayne, and the other who was wearing glasses was shaking like crazy.

"Right…it's only an accident…" the shaky man said with a nervous laugh.

"Is he alright?" Anarky asked the tall buff man.

"He has been like this since we first met him," he said. "Oh, I had forgotten to introduce myself. I am Bane."

"Uh, I'm Kirk…" the man said.

"I-I'm Arnold and t-this is m-my boss, Scarface," the man with the puppet from earlier said.

"Don't introduce me again, dummy! The kid already met me!" the puppet said.

"I'm Hush. Call me Tommy though." the Bruce Wayne lookalike said.

"Well, guys, I'm Anarky." Anarky said before looking at his phone. "I guess you're looking for…Cobblepot Manor too?"

They nodded as he shrugged and followed them to the nearby mansion. He scoffed since his hatred of the rich was way too strong. At least it was better than the shitty apartment he lived in before…

The group finally arrived at the front door as Bane gestured for Anarky to knock and said, "After you, young one."

Anarky rolled his eyes and knocked on the door, expecting something bad to happen. The door opened and the group found themselves face to face with some blonde girl in red and black.

"Can I help ya?" she asked in the most annoying voice Anarky has ever heard.

"Um, I believe we're the new guys?" Anarky said.

She then turned to the door and began yelling for "puddin'". After a few moments, Joker shoved his girlfriend out of the way and grinned at the newcomers as they immediately recognized him.

"Oh, you're all here already?" he asked.

"Yeah…we're here." Kirk, or Man Bat, said with nod.

"HE'S Man Bat?" Harley asked Joker while pointing to Kirk.

Joker shrugged and led the new guys inside.

The Ventriloquist held Scarface close to him in comfort as he followed the group into the mansion.

"Don't hug me, dummy!" Scarface said.

"S-Sorry…" The Ventriloquist said nervously.

Anarky looked around in awe while Bane ducked under doorways and Kirk nervously darted his eyes around the area.

"Welcome home, newbies!" Joker said with a laugh before leaving them be.

"Mr. J is a great guy! Allow me to show ya to your rooms!" Harley said, grinning.

They followed her while feeling like they were being watched by the other villains living here. This was going to be exhausting…


	21. Initiation

The cards were FINALLY shuffled as Harley grinned at her friends. Joker was taking a while, so it was only appropriate to start the game early.

"Mr. J just needs to get the newbies down here. So, let's play!" she said while throwing the cards to each villain at the table.

For the past several months, NOTHING had happened after Scarecrow's fangirl incident, so it was nothing, but boring.

"I'll go first." Penguin said with a sigh. "For my next trick, I will pull blank out of blank."

Everyone immediately took two of their cards and began to read their answers.

"For my next trick, I will pull my collection of high tech sex toys out of Justin Bieber." Two Face said.

"Oooh, Harvey, I didn't know you had that." Ivy said, causing him to groan.

The villains snickered as Joker came in with the new guys. Harley gave them their cards while her boyfriend gestured everyone to stop the game for a moment.

"I don't mean to interrupt, but I would like to introduce you all to the new guys: Lonnie Macchin, or Anarky, Bane, Arnold Wesker, or The Ventriloquist, Thomas Elliot, or Hush, and Kirk Langstrom, or Man Bat. This will be their first game, so we need to make it count!" Joker said.

"So, what's the game about?" Hush asked with a grin.

"It's Cards Against Humanity." Killer Croc said. "Basically, someone reads a card and we have to fill in the blanks with our cards."

"For my next trick, I will pull a supermassive black hole out of Hodor." Catwoman said.

The girls who had watched _Game of Thrones _with her cringed at this since the death of that character hit them pretty hard.

"For my next trick, I will pull a cooler full of organs out of a cheap ass tooth fairy." Riddler said.

"Everyone knows that this tooth fairy does not exist…" Talia said with a scoff.

"Especially a cheap one." Ra's al Ghul said.

"For my next trick, I will pull a child's heart out of an unhinged Ferris wheel rolling toward the sea." Baby Doll said.

Anarky turned to his new companions and said, "This game is WEIRD…"

"I-It could be fun…" The Ventriloquist said.

"Are you kidding? The kid's right! It's strange." Scarface said with a scoff.

"For my next trick, I will pull a gnawing sense of dread out of Robocop!" Creeper said.

Everyone sighed and continued with the game.

"Let's…just move onto another one, shall we?" Scarecrow asked while taking out a new card. "I drink to forget blank."

"I drink to forget my complicated backstory that you will soon learn about." Clayface said. "Honestly, a lot of my characters were like that."

"I drink to forget Nickelback." Mr. Freeze said.

"I drink to forget yet another guy with an impressive dick…oh my…" Mad Hatter said while trying to hide under the table.

The villains laughed as Bane looked through his cards and raised an eyebrow.

"I drink to forget Emma Watson." Music Meister said. "At least she can sing!"

Everyone laughed a bit at it.

"I drink to forget that ass. Unless it's Batman's, I'm not forgetting it!" Roxy said.

"I'm winning this round! I drink to forget child abuse." Victor said with a grin.

Anarky cleared his throat and read from his cards, saying, "I drink to forget alcoholism."

Everyone died of laughter as he took his seat back down.

"Not bad at all…" Bane said.

"Nice one, Lonnie." Kirk said with a small smile.

"Again, welcome to the family." Joker said. "Now, who's ready for Round 2?"


	22. The Diary

Riddler dashed through Ivy's garden while carrying a book, grinning upon seeing Mad Hatter and Music Meister having a conversation near a bush of roses.

"Guess what this is…" he said with a grin.

"That's a book, Edward. Obviously." Music Meister said.

"Oooh, I believe that's Dr. Crane's diary." Mad Hatter said before sipping his tea. "I wouldn't recommend having it out in the open."

Riddler flipped through it and asked, "Do you think he's written anything juicy?"

"Oh, like his crush on Harley or that one time he slept with Ivy!" Music Meister said as his companion flipped to the page on his crush.

The trio then read through the diary together on their teammate in interest, wanting to find out the details on what he was thinking. When Ivy came by, they hid the book while she went up to the rose bush and began cooing over it as she used her powers to grow more.

"Come, we need to get away." Mad Hatter said, dragging his two friends away from Ivy.

They needed to keep looking through the diary without their friend noticing…


	23. Do Me a Favor

The trio had spent the entire night reading every single diary entry as well as the notes Scarecrow wrote on them, the others, and Batman and his allies regarding their fears and such. The only remotely juicy thing they could find was his descriptions of Harley.

Riddler hid the diary while walking alongside Mad Hatter and Music Meister to return the book. Before they could step out, Ivy walked past them.

"Your friend isn't in the best mood. Just because I was busy doesn't mean that I didn't see what you were doing with that book." she said.

"Oh dear, I believe we're in trouble…" Mad Hatter said once Ivy was gone.

"You think?" Riddler asked.

Suddenly, a familiar maniacal laugh echoed through the area as they poked behind a wall and saw Scarecrow glaring at Joker.

"I know you took it, clown! Give it back!" Scarecrow said.

"Don't be ridiculous, Jonny! For once, I didn't even do it." Joker said in between laughs.

"Shit…" Riddler said under his breath while turning to his friends. "We need to stay quiet. If he sees us—"

"_Oh, Harley! I admire your brains and beauty! The sun gets caught in your golden hair and blinds me with your loveliness!_" Music Meister said, singing.

"Shhh!" Mad Hatter said before Joker noticed them.

"That'll be my call to leave. Good luck, nerds…" he said while leaving.

Scarecrow looked at them and stormed towards them, his eyes growing dark.

"I heard that." he said.

"So, Professor Crane, we've heard that you lost your diary…" Riddler said as he scratched the back of his head.

"How did you know that?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at them.

Riddler gave the book to Mad Hatter who held it out to Scarecrow. He immediately took it from his best friend and sighed in relief while holding it close to his chest.

"Your interest in Harley is quite adorable, not as adorable as Black Canary, but still." Music Meister said.

Suddenly, Scarecrow grabbed him by the suit collar and asked, "YOU READ MY DIARY?!"

_Here goes nothing, we're going to have to be honest…_Riddler thought.

"Actually, all three of us did." he said.

"Will you please forgive us?" Mad Hatter asked. "We'll do anything!"

_Despite the fact that they invaded my privacy, perhaps they deserve a second chance._ Scarecrow thought.

"Well, there is ONE thing…" he said.


	24. Getting Blackmail Part 1

"Wait, blackmail?! I thought Oswald was more into that…" Riddler asked.

"I like a little blackmail every once in a while. Unlike Oswald, I only use it as a hobby, not as a tool to manipulate others." Scarecrow said before pulling up his phone. "Look at all of this."

He then scrolled through the photos of the different villains (even some photos of Batman, Robin, Batgirl, Gordon, and Bullock) doing things that were unlike them.

"I thought they hated each other like how he hates the rest of us." Mad Hatter said, pointing to a photo of Batman and Joker.

"This photo was taken at the karaoke bar last Friday. Joker and Harley go there for their date nights every Friday. Some say that Batman has been spotted there with his sidekicks." Scarecrow said.

"I LOVE karaoke!" Music Meister said with a squeal.

"Well, if we're going to go gather blackmail, we'll need disguises. Quick, to the mall!" Riddler said.

* * *

**Later…**

The four guys stepped out of the dressing rooms in their new outfits: Riddler was wearing a black shirt with a light green trench coat over it, a dark green scarf, dark purple gloves, a light green fedora, and black pants, Mad Hatter was dressed in a white shirt with a red, black, and white vest and a white jacket with card symbols all over, white gloves, and red and black pants, Scarecrow wore an orange shirt with a light brown jacket over it and dark brown pants, and Music Meister was dressed in a dark blue stripped suit with a matching fedora.

"You guys look Hollywood worthy!" the clerk said with a grin. "Are you sure that's all, gentlemen?"

They nodded and went to pay for their new clothes. Once they were done, they left the mall and arrived at the karaoke bar.

"Oh my, this place looks rather shady…" Mad Hatter said.

"That is SO Gotham." Riddler said with a grin.

"You're Cobblepot's husband, right?" the bouncer asked him.

Riddler nodded as the bouncer let them in. They got through the crowd as Music Meister asked, "Perks of being a crime boss's husband?"

"Shhh, I can see Harley towards the front." Scarecrow said as he pointed to Harley, who was seated in the front wearing a red and black dress.

"Where's Joker?" Mad Hatter asked, scanning the crowd.

Riddler then saw a familiar head of green hair heading towards the stage and pointed to him, saying, "Over there! He's heading for the stage."

"Is that a new suit?" Music Meister asked. "It looks nice."

Indeed, it was a new suit: Joker was wearing an orange shirt with a purple vest and a magenta jacket over it, a red tie, black fingerless gloves, and purple pants.

On the other side of the stage, they got a glimpse of Batman getting on stage and saw Robin and Batgirl sitting near that area.

"Batman too? Small world…" Riddler said.

Once the announcer said their names, the audience applauded.

"Go get 'im, puddin'!" Harley said from the table closest to the stage.

The music started playing as Scarecrow pulled out his phone to record while Mad Hatter stared at him, Music Meister squealed, and Riddler stared at the stage in confusion.

"They're singing _Bad Romance_?" he asked.

"Shhh." Scarecrow said as he hit the record button.

While singing the song, Joker and Batman were shaking their hips to the beat and doing dance moves that could be best described as sassy.

"This was a bad idea…" Mad Hatter said under his breath.

"_I don't wanna be friends! I don't wanna be friends! I DON'T WANNA BE FRIENDS!" _Music Meister said.

Once the song ended, they agreed that now was the best time to leave, which they did. No one could look at Batman the same way ever again…


	25. Getting Blackmail Part 2

Scarecrow, Mad Hatter, Riddler, and Music Meister sat around a table while discussing what they had witnessed last night.

"We did what you wanted, professor, but why are you keeping us around?" Riddler asked. "Outside of the fact that we're a team already."

"There's only one more thing to do until you have finally received my forgiveness…" Scarecrow said.

"And that is?" Mad Hatter asked, drinking his tea.

"_I might get your heart racing in my skin tight jeans, be your teenage dream tonight!"_ Music Meister said while singing.

The other three just rolled their eyes at him and continued with the planning.

"We'll get more blackmail. This time, we'll focus on Two Face." Scarecrow said to them.

"Oh my…" Mad Hatter said.

"What could he have that would be so juicy?" Riddler asked.

Their leader smirked at them and said, "You'll see…"

* * *

The group snuck into Two Face's room and gazed at all the law related awards and bookshelves filled with DVDs of the complete seasons of _Law and Order_ and its spinoffs.

"Look at all of the law stuff. Knowing Harvey, this isn't really all that juicy." Music Meister said.

Riddler shrugged and look through some of the drawers with Mad Hatter as Scarecrow was on look out.

"Oh! Oh! I found something!" Riddler said as he pulled up several framed pictures.

"Glorious! This calls for a celebration!" Mad Hatter said with a grin.

"YES! Wait, is that Ivy?" Music Meister asked upon seeing the pictures.

Scarecrow jumped when he heard his friend with benefits' name and ran over to his friends.

"Holy shit, that is!" he said while fixing his glasses.

"I guess he still likes her?" Mad Hatter asked.

"Judging by the heart shaped frames, I would say yes." Riddler said.

Suddenly, a yell was heard from outside the room…and whoever was screaming didn't sound happy at all.

"Oh dear…" Riddler said.

"How much do you bet that it was Oswald?" Music Meister asked with a gulp.

"No, that was possibly Ra's al Ghul." Mad Hatter said.

Scarecrow quickly took pictures of the Ivy photos and ran out with his group, saying, "He knows we're in here!"

They dashed out of the mansion as fast as they could and into the streets of Gotham City, which caused several civilians to turn their heads while the four shoved through the crowds to get away from Two Face.

The team was almost to the center of the city when a familiar voice started calling their names.

"Where are you, you pricks?! You'll pay for ransacking my room!" Two Face said, looking around.

"We don't have any time for this…" Music Meister said while looking back.

"It's either get found out by the GCPD or get killed by him." Riddler said.

"Correct, Nygma. We need to hide." Scarecrow said with a nod.

With that, they ran off.


	26. Girls Night Out

After months of begging, Harley finally convinced both Ivy and Catwoman to have a girls night out with her. It had been forever since they last had one, but it was ruined thanks to Batman and his sidekicks.

"Come on, girls! We'll be zombies if we don't leave this place sooner!" Harley said with a grin as she ran out of the mansion.

Ivy and Catwoman followed after her at a more reasonable pace compared to their excitable friend.

"Alright, so Talia, Baby Doll, and Roxy couldn't make it since they were busy with stuff, but it's cool that it's just the three of us." Ivy said.

"I'm fine if it's only us." Catwoman said with a shrug.

They got into Ivy's car and started their drive into the city as Harley looked up at the night sky in confusion.

"Hey, Red? What are those bright glowing things in the sky?" she asked.

Ivy glanced up as she pulled up to a stop light and said, "They're stars obviously. What do you think they are?"

"I always assumed that they were big balls of gas travelling billions of miles per hour in space." Harley said with a shrug. "At least that's what Eddie and Professor Crane say…"

"I thought they were fireflies that got stuck up in this…blue-black thing." Catwoman said, gesturing to the sky.

"Well, you're both wrong. I believe they're other worlds or something like that." Ivy said with a smirk.

"Oooh, like the planet Superguy and his cousin are from!" Harley said.

"No offense, Harley, but don't be stupid. The firefly theory is actually correct." Catwoman said as the light changed and Ivy continued driving.

"Nuh-uh! My balls of gas theory is actually right! If it's from the smartest people in the whole group aside from Pengy, it MUST be true!" she said.

"Both of you cut it out!" Ivy said to them. "Let's conclude that I'm right and just have fun. Harley brought us out here for a reason!"

The two immediately shut up as she turned on the radio.


	27. Capturing a Disney Princess Lookalike

"So, what do we do first? Get drinks? Go shopping? Hit the clubs? Mess with Bats?" Harley asked with a grin while the car was parked.

Catwoman laughed as Ivy playfully rolled her eyes.

"Well, I actually had an idea for us, girls. You know, something a little different from the usual activities…" Ivy said.

"And that is?" Catwoman asked.

Ivy gestured them to come closer and whispered the plan to them. Harley squealed in excitement while Catwoman raised an eyebrow. This WAS different from what they usually did on their girl nights…

"We're going to capture someone and steal some priceless jewels?!" the other two asked in unison.

"I put the plan together last minute because of the diary incident that some of the boys got themselves into." Ivy said with a shrug.

"Oh…" Catwoman said. "So, where exactly do we start?"

"I was thinking about the new nightclub that just opened." Ivy said, pointing to a light blue building nearby.

* * *

The three entered the VIP Lounge of the nightclub and looked around in awe.

"Welcome to Atlantis, girls. It's the only nightclub in this city NOT run by someone corrupt." Ivy said to them.

"Looks like both Olympus and The Iceberg Lounge have some competition." Catwoman said as she looked around for anyone good enough to capture.

"Oooh, look! Fish!" Harley said, running up to a fish tank in the middle of the room and pressing her face up against it.

"With this place having fish, Oswald might lose his mind because he hates them so much." Catwoman said with a laugh before noticing that Ivy was gone. "Uh, Pam? Where are you?"

"Right here, Selina. I got our victim." Ivy said as she walked over with a redhead tangled in her vines.

Harley took her attention away from the fish and ran up to them, saying, "She looks like Ariel from The Little Mermaid!"

"Now then, to the Gotham City Museum of Natural History!" Catwoman said, running out with Harley, Ivy, and their victim.


	28. The Great Heist

The girls snuck into the museum with their victim in tow as they gazed around the massive lobby with hallways leading into the different exhibitions.

"I know this place like the back of my hand. I'll go for the jewels. Ivy, you go for any artifacts. Harley, you'll stay with our victim and make sure she doesn't get away." Catwoman said.

With that, they split off to do their respective jobs.

* * *

Catwoman was able to get into the rocks and minerals section with ease, looking through the glass displays and spying a massive diamond in one of them. Her claws came out of her gloves while she quickly licked the area where her palm was and stuck her hand on the glass.

She cut a circle from there and placed the circular cut she made before grabbing the diamond from the display.

_And another successful robbery from the Gotham City Sirens…_Catwoman thought.

* * *

Ivy was never much for museums since she preferred visiting the botanical gardens instead. She looked around for anything useful and didn't find much…until she discovered two massive statues of two horses with both a horn and wings fighting each other.

It wasn't anything special, but at least it was better than nothing…Summoning her plants, Ivy wrapped the statues in vines and carried them outside.

"I guess this'll be alright…" she said to herself.

* * *

"…And that was how I met my puddin'! Isn't he just wonderful?" Harley asked the victim, who was just staring at her in wide eyed terror.

"You're crazy…" she said.

"Aww, you're too kind, Ariel."

"My name is Jodi—"

"YOUR NAME IS ARIEL BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE HER!" Harley said before grinning at her. "Got it?"

Jodi nodded and stopped talking once she saw Ivy and Catwoman came back with their loot.

"Is everything fine, Harley?" Catwoman asked as she put down her jewels.

"Yup! We became really good friends!" Harley said with a grin.

"Good, we leave her here and get our stuff back home. I bet Oswald could give us some money for us by selling this." Ivy said.

That was their last conversation for a while until Catwoman pointed out a large familiar bat-like shadow dropping down from the ceiling…


	29. Revenge of the Fangirls

To say that Arkham Asylum got boring at times was an understatement to the Rogues Gallery of Gotham City. Being sent there by Batman was bad enough, but the boredom was the worst despite the activities they were given by the guards and doctors.

It all started like any other boring day at Arkham. However, the criminals are going to learn that soon, this day will be anything BUT boring.

At the moment, everyone was doing various activities: Joker was making bat paper chains to show off, Harley was putting flowers in Ivy's hair, Riddler was in the middle of an intense debate with Scarecrow, Penguin was listening to classical music, Catwoman was reading a jewelry catalog, Two Face was flipping his coin, Ivy was reading from a fashion magazine, Mad Hatter was drinking tea and listening in on the debate between his friends, Bane was doing pushups, Clayface, Killer Croc, and Baby Doll were playing a board game, Music Meister was singing, Victor was twirling his knife around, much to The Ventriloquist (who was hugging Scarface to his chest in fear) and Kirk's worry, Hush and Anarky were giving each other tips on killing victims, Roxy was practicing her stunts, Ra's al Ghul and Talia were reading books, and Creeper was whining about being bored. (Mr. Freeze was in his cell wallowing in self-pity).

"And…done! Harley, what do you think?" Joker asked as he unraveled his bat chain.

"It looks amazing, Mr. J! You're quite the artist!" Harley said with a grin.

"…You're incorrect, professor! Because the original pronunciation is Ouranos, not Uranus. Everyone gets that mixed up all the time." Riddler said.

"I never knew that…" Mad Hatter said.

"But the books had it spelt as Uranus like the planet." Scarecrow said.

"Cut it out, nerds!" Two Face said under his breath.

"He's right, both of you please stop…" Penguin said as he took his headphones out for a moment.

Catwoman held out a page of her magazine to Ivy and asked, "Doesn't this look cute, Pam?"

"It does! I think it could go well with this." Ivy said, showing off her magazine.

"Forty seven…forty eight…forty nine…fifty!" Bane said to himself.

"Your turn, Matt." Baby Doll said while giving him the dice.

He nodded and rolled it, moving a few spaces.

"Damn it, my turn's going to be skipped!" Clayface said upon realizing what space he landed on.

"FINALLY! It's my turn again!" Killer Croc said.

"_Backstreet's back, alright!_" Music Meister said while singing.

"When I finally get Batman, I'll probably slice him to pieces…" Victor said as he slashed his knife.

"Oh dear…" Kirk said.

"Th-That's kind of s-scary." the Ventriloquist said.

"Let go of me, dummy!" Scarface said to him.

"Rallying up crowds is always the best way to destroy your enemies. They'll just do it for you." Anarky said.

"No, no, no! Look, kid, it's better to psychologically torment them." Hush said.

"And she goes on with another flip!" Roxy said before doing a backflip. "Score!"

"The stories of those misunderstood by humanity are quite fascinating, are they not?" Ra's al Ghul asked.

"Indeed, father. I enjoy them immensely." Talia said with a nod.

"Ugh, I'm SOOOOOO bored!" Creeper said. "Can't something interesting happen?!"

Suddenly, the walls started shaking and the group heard Arkham's guards yelling as they were trying to fend someone off.

"NO! STAY BACK!" they heard Aaron Cash say, followed by the sounds of high pitched female screaming.

"Oh no, it can't be…I thought they stopped after what I did!" Scarecrow said.

"Looks like doing that made them thirsty for more, Jonny." Joker said with a laugh.

"Dear me, is it…them?" Mad Hatter asked. "The fangirls?"

"Wait, we have fans?" Riddler asked.

Penguin ripped his headphones off and said, "We HAVE to get out of here before they get to us."

"FREE REIGN ON ALL THESE ROGUES!" the fangirls said.

"Well, shit…we should leave." Hush said. "We should grab our stuff and get the hell out of here."

The other villains nodded, but before they could run, Harley stopped them.

"We gotta get Freeze first! There's NO way that we're leaving him." she said to them.

With that, she ran to his cell.

* * *

Harley finally made it to the frozen-over metal door and frantically banged on it, saying, "Hey, Frosty! Talk to me!"

"Go away…" Mr. Freeze said.

"It's an emergency! Fangirls have attacked Arkham and we gotta get out of here, so get your suit on and we can get your freeze gun back on the way out!"

"And if I don't?"

"Then, the fangirls might storm your lab and try to steal Nora because they think that they like you more than she does." Harley said.

"No…I can't let that happen!" Mr. Freeze said.

After a few moments, he stepped out of his cell with his suit on. Harley then grabbed his arm and dragged him off to the confiscated items room to meet up with the others.


	30. Kidnapped

The villains gathered in the confiscated items room with their weapons or other things and prepared to leave. Joker grinned at his fellow teammates and slicked his green hair back slightly as he counted everyone to make sure the gang was all here.

"Well, that's everyone! Time for breakout two billion!" he said with a smile.

Everyone nodded. They were already professionals at this and at least they had a reason to do so with the crazy girls invading Arkham.

"Since Kirk, Arnie, Tommy, Bane, and I are still kind of new to the group, what's a fangirl?" Anarky asked as he put his mask on and his hood up.

"According to Urban Dictionary, a fangirl is a rabid breed of human female obsessed with either a fictional character, actor, or someone well known. Similar to the breed of fanboy, fangirls congregate at anime conventions and fan sites. They have been known to glomp, grope, and tackle when encountering said obsessions." Riddler said.

With each word he said, the other villains winced as he described it.

"Then, why are we standing around? We NEED to leave." Penguin said as he gripped his umbrella.

Before the group could run for the door, the entire room began to shake.

"They're here!" Scarecrow said.

"Oh dear…" Mad Hatter and Riddler said in unison.

The door burst open in a flash as the fangirls stood at the door, much to everyone's fear. The leader walked out and laughed.

"You're ours now!" she said.

* * *

**Meanwhile…**

Batman placed a Batarang into his utility belt as he stared at his butler, Alfred.

"Thanks for the upgrades, Alfred." he said to him

"The pleasure is all mine, Master Wayne." Alfred said.

They walked over to the Batcomputer where his sidekicks, Dick Grayson and Barbara Gordon, were looking at the screens.

"What's the update?" Batman asked.

"There's been a breakout at Arkham…again, but this time is different." Dick said, making his adoptive father raise an eyebrow.

"Bruce, to put it in simpler terms, there was a break in at Arkham, not a breakout. Look at this security footage." Barbara said as she zoomed in on what appeared to be a mass of women in t-shirts that had familiar figures on them running into Arkham. "It looks like they're fans of our enemies…"

"Wait, they have fans?" Dick asked.

"Anything else, Barbara?" Batman asked her.

"They've captured Joker and the rest of the Crime Syndicate. This doesn't look good at all." Barbara said.

"I take you three must be off to save your enemies?" Alfred asked.

"Exactly. They may be pains in the asses, but they're OUR pains in the asses." Dick said while running off with Batman and Barbara to the Batmobile.

This wasn't the first time the three of them had to save their worst enemies and they knew that it couldn't be the last…


	31. Failed Escape

"So, do we form a rescue team or do the three of us just run in and save them?" Dick asked.

"I personally believe that we need to think about this. I mean, these are crazed fans we're talking about." Barbara said.

Batman nodded and said, "I think the three of us can handle it even if getting help from the others would be useful."

"Jason might kill everyone though if we got him involved." Barbara said.

"And things might be a bit awkward for Damian to save his grandfather and mother from people crushing on them." Dick said.

They nodded and just continued to drive to wherever the fans were keeping their enemies hidden…

* * *

**Meanwhile…**

The villains were busy trying to untie and ungag themselves from their fans' trap. It was surprisingly easily since the restraints were loose and they used duct tape to gag them.

"Ick, the taste of duct tape is so disgusting! How could they hear my beautiful voice if they did that?" Music Meister asked.

The others rolled their eyes at him.

"Alright, everyone, I suggest a plan of attack. I've dealt with them before, so it would only be appropriate if I lead the escape." Scarecrow said.

Joker laughed at this and said, "Because of what you did to that one girl months ago is why we're here, Jonny! They're horny, plain and simple."

"I swear that I saw some fanboys here and judging by Ed's description of fangirls from earlier, they're the same, but male." Catwoman said.

"Alright, professor, what's the plan?" Ivy asked.

"THANK YOU!" Scarecrow said with a groan. "Look, we move out of sight from them and escape, but we need to be as quiet as possible."

He gathered everyone around in a circle and whispered the plan while they looked over their shoulders in case the fans were listening in on their conversation.

Immediately, the plan was put into motion as they snuck around and tried to be as quiet as possible. Harley hummed the _Mission: Impossible_ theme while they looked around cautiously.

"Shhh. Harley, shut your mouth." Two Face said.

"I don't see any of them so far. Are we safe?" Mad Hatter asked his friends.

Anarky heard Mr. Freeze's mechanical whirs from the suit and shushed him.

"I cannot help it, young man." Mr. Freeze said.

Both Kirk and The Ventriloquist whimpered at the same time, but stopped once Bane glared at them.

"Hey, guys, don't you think that we were cursed with being attractive?" Hush asked.

"Shhh!" everyone said in unison.

Unfortunately, the thumping from Killer Croc's tail as it dragged across the floor wasn't helping them at all.

"Oh god, this is so cool! I feel like a super mega ultra-secret spy. We're going to be in the next James Bond movie! I would be an awesome spy!" Creeper said.

Suddenly, the building rumbled and the high pitched screams started again.

"Shit." Riddler and Penguin said in unison while holding onto each other.

"This is all your fault, Ryder!" Clayface said with a groan.

Creeper shrugged and asked, "My bad?"


	32. It Actually Works

"Get back in!" the fangirl leader said as she and her henchmen threw the villains back into their prison.

She then slammed the door in their faces.

"Now, what are we gonna do? We're screwed!" Harley asked.

"We can still fix this! All the noises we've made caused them to notice us, so we need to figure out another plan…" Scarecrow said, pacing around their prison.

Suddenly, Riddler scoffed, making everyone jump. They knew EXACTLY what was coming and sometimes, that wasn't good at all.

"Please, Crane, let someone WITH brains handle this. Someone like me." he said.

_Oh god, he's so hot when he gets like that…_Penguin thought.

"Evil Ed's back…" the group said to themselves.

The newer members just stared in confusion (or fear) at the reactions to the normally nice villain's sudden change of personality. He gestured everyone to form a circle and told them the plan.

"What exactly IS the plan?" Anarky asked.

* * *

**Later…**

"Are you sure this'll work, Ed? I don't really like heights all that much…" Baby Doll said as she looked out the window.

"It's fine, we've dealt with worse. We'll charge together and jump out, simple as that. They'll never know that we disappeared if we run quick enough." Riddler said. "Alright, on the count of three, everyone!"

"Those fans will realize how they underestimated my gorgeous singing after duct taping my mouth!" Music Meister said.

"One…" the group said in unison.

"Please! I can knock down this window in a few seconds!" Killer Croc said with a scoff.

"No, I am the strongest here!" Bane said.

"Two…" the group said again.

"We did not even test your hypothesis, Nygma. How do you—" Mr. Freeze began to say.

"THREE!" everyone said as they charged and jumped out the window right after Killer Croc shattered it.

"WHEEEE! THIS IS SO FUN!" Harley said.

At first, they looked epic as the glass broke behind them and the Gotham City wind blew in their faces. It was like a scene out of an action movie with slow motion and everything…until they started plummeting to the ground outside of the warehouse they were being held in.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the villains said, falling straight down.

They really should've thought it through a little more in the first place…

Before passing out, they heard a car pull up nearby and saw three familiar figures walking up to them.


	33. Halloween Special: Monster Mash

Scarecrow LOVED the smell of pumpkin spice. Every year, he would hoard as much pumpkin spice creamer as he could and use it for the rest of the year while his favorite drink was out of season. Today, on Halloween, was his birthday.

He didn't have any plans for his special day: only to do more research on fear, maybe read one of his favorite horror stories, and go about his business as normal. His birthday wasn't a big deal to him anyways…

Scarecrow jumped slightly when he heard footsteps and asked, "Who's there?"

Then, he remembered that he lived with other people and shook his head…until everyone else came into the kitchen with Harley being the first to greet him.

"Happy birthday, Professor Crane!" she said as she gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Scarecrow froze and touched his cheek, blushing. At least that made his birthday have SOME worth to it…

Right after that, everyone, except for him and his friends, went about their day.

"You DO realize that Joker's going to plan something crazy for tonight, right?" Ivy asked him.

"Well, there's going to be a Halloween party at the Iceberg Lounge." Riddler said. "Oswald and I decided to let Chris host it."

"A party? Ed, I'm not sure…" Scarecrow said as he drank his coffee.

"It could be fun, Jon." Mad Hatter said.

"I say that we'll do it! I have the PERFECT costume for tonight!" Music Meister said with a squeal.

They WERE too old for trick or treating after all. Hell, it was a dead art at this point. The only things available to do were to sit and watch horror movies or go to a Halloween party and so, he made the decision…

* * *

Joker grinned at his reflection as he covered his mouth with the black bandana. His Gwynplaine costume might've been plain, but it was all too fitting for him.

"Now, this is a great costume!" he said.

"Not as great as ours, puddin'!" Harley said as she ran in with Ivy and Catwoman.

They were dressed as the Sanderson Sisters with Ivy as Winnifred, Catwoman as Mary, and Harley as Sarah.

"It was my idea. Besides, group costumes are cute." Ivy said with a shrug.

"We look great!" Catwoman said.

As they admired their reflections, Riddler walked in with Penguin. They were Aziraphale and Crowley respectively for their Halloween costumes.

"Come on, it's only for ONE night." he said to his husband.

"I don't even celebrate it." Penguin said with a groan. "Besides, I hate dressing up like this."

Suddenly, they heard something run against the wall until Scarecrow came in dressed as Freddy Kruger as he said, "Alright, I'm ready."

After that, Two Face walked to them…dressed in his normal black and white suit.

"Where's your costume, Harvey?" Ivy asked.

"I'm a homicidal maniac. We just look like everyone else." he said.

Mr. Freeze followed after him while still in his suit.

"I do not intend to dress up for—" he began to say before Harley suddenly wrapped a scarf around his neck, put a top hat on top of his helmet, and stuck a carrot on the glass.

"There! You're a snowman now!" she said with a grin.

"Ah, how I love holidays like this!" Mad Hatter said, running in and wearing the outfit of the Disney Mad Hatter.

Bane then walked into the room dressed as Jason Voorhees while adjusting his hockey mask.

"This isn't too bad…" he said.

Before anyone could react, Clayface snuck up on them in the form of a horror movie character.

"Jeez, Matty! You nearly gave us a heart attack!" Joker said. "What are you exactly?"

"The Terror. You know, from Dread Castle? The Basil Karlo film?" Clayface asked.

Everyone looked at each other in confusion before saying "Oh…"

Killer Croc groaned and adjusted his ninja mask, wondering why they talked him into being a Ninja Turtle of all things.

"I hate you guys…" he said.

"Come, daughter. We must not be late." Ra's al Ghul said, fixing his fake fangs.

"I am behind you, father." Talia said while flipping her hair back.

They were dressed as vampires.

Suddenly, everyone jumped when the overture from _Phantom of the Opera_ started to play on full blast as Music Meister danced in while wearing his costume.

"_I'm here, the Phantom of the OPERAAAAAAAA!_" he said as he sang.

Ventriloquist, dressed as a Pokémon trainer, carried Scarface, who was wearing a Pikachu onesie, into the room.

"This is so embarrassing…" Scarface said.

"It's only for tonight, Mr. Scarface." Ventriloquist said.

Suddenly, Baby Doll came in dressed as a princess and said, "Everyone, bow before me!"

Clayface and Killer Croc were the only ones who bowed.

"Of course…" Penguin said under his breath.

Hush then came out dressed as Batman as Victor followed behind him, wearing his normal outfit.

"It's an obvious choice for me, but whatever." he said with a shrug.

"And I don't do Halloween costumes, so don't bother me about it." Victor said.

The last few people then came in: Anarky, Kirk, Roxy, and Creeper. They were dressed as Tom Riddle, a werewolf, Lara Croft, and Shaggy from _Scooby Doo_ respectively.

"DON'T judge my costume…" Anarky said.

"Uh, grr?" Kirk asked.

"I actually LOVE my costume." Roxy said. "I should wear it more often."

"Mine's pretty cool!" Creeper said as he held his Scooby plushie close.

Joker counted everyone before grinning and saying, "That's everyone. Let's party!"

* * *

The party was a success so far from what Christian had been seeing (he was dressed as Joker from _Persona 5_): he finally decided to use his fathers' nightclub to throw a party and everyone was having a great time.

His girlfriend, Hannah, who was dressed as Veronica from _Heathers_, approached him.

"This has been so much fun, Chris!" she said.

"Yeah, I'm still in shock that both of my dads approved of this." Christian said. "They did say that this place will be mine though."

Before his girlfriend could speak up, the doors opened and it was his fathers and their friends in full costume.

"Holy crap, is that The Joker?" someone asked in fear.

Immediately, the Crime Syndicate went to partying with some going to the dance floor, grabbing candy, or just hanging out.

"Ed, put the candy back!" Penguin said.

"They have chocolate though! I couldn't resist!" Riddler said with a shrug as he grabbed some small Hershey's bars.

Scarecrow grabbed a drink from the bar and looked around. Maybe this birthday wasn't so bad after all…


	34. Christmas Special: Holiday Heist Part 1

Thanksgiving came and went uneventfully for the group, but thankfully, Christmas was quickly approaching, which was the perfect time for crimes. However, first, they had to deal with the Christmas party…

"It's supposed to be fun, Pengy!" Riddler said to his husband.

"Ed, we've been together for a very long time." Penguin said. "You should know that I don't celebrate Christmas or any holiday for that matter."

Nearby, Ivy was summoning mistletoe and hanging it over Two Face's head.

"Look up, Harvey…" she said, waving it over him.

"For the last time, I'M. NOT. INTERESTED!" he said.

Joker laughed at the scene and said, "Looks like someone's being a Grinch…"

"Don't you just love this time of year, puddin'?" Harley asked.

"I can't believe this is the last time of the year to actually eat pumpkin pie." Scarecrow said, staring at the slice of pie on his plate.

"Cheer up, professor! There's always next year!" Mad Hatter said as he drank his tea.

"_Oh, the weather outside is frightful!" _Music Meister, Creeper, Baby Doll, Hush, and Catwoman said while singing.

Ra's al Ghul gripped on his champagne glass and said, "I swear, if I hear ONE more of those dreaded carols…"

"Let them have their fun, father. At least the drinks aren't too bad." Talia said.

Killer Croc was busy stuffing his face at the buffet as Matt watched him.

"Hungry?" the crocodile asked.

"Nah, I'm good." Matt said, shaking his head.

"GET THIS HAT OFF ME, DUMMY!" Scarface said while gesturing to the Santa hat on his head.

"R-right away, Mr. Scarface…" Ventriloquist said as he took the hat off.

"How long is this party going to take?" Kirk asked Victor and Roxy.

"Good question…" Victor said with a groan.

"Come on, guys! It's supposed to be fun!" Roxy said, wrapping her arms around them. "But have you two seen Freeze during the party?"

The two shrugged in response.

* * *

**Hours later, after everyone has gone to sleep… **

Mr. Freeze took a deep breath as he stopped his research and placed a small box on the table beside the container with his wife inside.

"Merry Christmas, Nora. I hope you're enjoying our anniversary week…I know I am." he said while touching the glass.

He made it a priority to be with his wife for every anniversary and Valentine's Day by locking himself in his lab and working on a cure while the rest of his allies go out and have fun without him.

Almost immediately, he went back to work, unaware that it was already midnight and that everyone else had woken up to the sounds of hooves scraping on the roof and sleigh bells ringing.

The next thing he knew was that there was frantic knocking at his door. Mr. Freeze jumped at the sound and opened it, seeing everyone standing there, now in their normal clothes and not their pajamas.

"What is it? I was busy." he asked.

"Frosty, there's someone on the roof! I think we're being robbed!" Harley said in a panic.

_On the roof? _Mr. Freeze thought as he followed everyone up to the roof.

Gotham City was chilly that night with snow covering the ground. He could see his allies shivering slightly even though they had bundled up slightly with scarves and gloves.

On the roof was a large red, green, and gold sleigh with nine reindeer harnessed to it with sleigh bells on the side. Much to their surprise, the lead reindeer had an unusually red nose compared to the others. A large red velvet sack sat in the back of the sleigh, completely filled.

"Oh my god, he DOES exist!" Baby Doll said, looking at the sleigh.

Mr. Freeze raised an eyebrow at it as he examined it and went up to Rudolph to get a closer look at his nose.

And then, Joker got an idea, an awful idea. He had a wonderfully awful plan in mind…

"I don't see the big red man here. He travels the world in one night to go to every house in the world…" Joker said. "I suggest that we steal it and rob everyone!"

"Best. Plan. EVER!" Harley said with a grin.

Everyone else looked at the sleigh and stared at each other with grins, except for Mr. Freeze, who was annoyed.


	35. Holiday Heist Part 2

"So, who should we rob next? The commissioner and the captain? Bruce Wayne? Everyone who works at Arkham or the GCPD? The mayor?" Joker asked as he piloted the sleigh through the city skyline.

Their first set of robberies in the sleigh were just random houses belonging to several civilians. Outside of a few dog attacks and nearly setting themselves on fire, they were able to leave behind presents and steal some objects.

As everyone was screaming out random names, Mr. Freeze looked down at the city below, still in awe about how everything was working without anything scientific supporting it.

"Interesting…" he said, unaware that Joker was driving to their next location.

Soon enough, the reindeer landed on one of the balconies of an apartment.

"Pengy, Eddie, you're next." Joker said while handing them the sack. "Find some good shit for us."

Riddler grinned and saluted him as Penguin groaned. The two snuck in with the sack in tow, immediately getting to work on stealing and leaving presents behind.

"Look, a Fabergé egg!" Riddler said as he proudly held up a fancy egg and placed it in the sack.

"I swear, Ed, if you make ONE comment—" Penguin began before pulling out a massive kayak. "Who the fuck asks for a kayak for Christmas?!"

His husband shrugged in response and grabbed a lamp, sticking it into the massive bag. Once they were finished, they went back outside and onto the sleigh.

Penguin took a deep breath and pulled out a present, handing it to him.

"Just take it. I…thought you might like it." he said.

Riddler opened it, grinning upon seeing a cane inside.

"Does it also double as a sword?" he asked.

"Uh, yeah…you can stab Batman with it."

Suddenly, Riddler hugged him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"I LOVE YOU!"

Penguin looked back at the other villains watching them and shook his head, secretly enjoying it.

* * *

When the villains arrived at their next destination, it was Ivy and Two Face's turn. They were able to sneak into the next apartment and started grabbing whatever they thought would be useful.

"You're not taking the plant." Two Face said while flipping his coin and glaring at Ivy.

"Come on, Harvey. It would look lovely in my greenhouse." Ivy said, examining the poinsettia.

"You're NOT fucking taking it."

"Then, you shouldn't take that Politician of the Year award."

Two Face glanced at the plaque he took off the wall and groaned.

"Let's just take both…" he said. "Deal?"

"Deal." Ivy said with a grin.

With that, they went back to the sleigh with their findings.

"Don't take it personally that I let you take that stupid flower…it's just a Christmas present."

She smirked at him and ruffled his white and black hair.

"And I very much appreciated it, Harvey."

Two Face gritted his teeth in annoyance. This was going to be a longer night than he thought…

* * *

Soon, they were on the roof of a house in one of Gotham's many neighborhoods and Joker and Harley jumped out of the sleigh with the sack in hand.

"Can't ya believe that Croc broke that chimney at that house, puddin'?" Harley asked as she and her boyfriend went down the chimney.

"It was priceless! That family will be so confused when they see the destruction in the morning!" Joker said with a laugh, stepping out into the living room from the fireplace.

Once they arrived, they began taking lightbulbs off the lamps and small presents. Joker then took the cookies off the plate and placed mistletoe instead while Harley put the objects in the sack.

"I can't wait for someone to eat this…"

"And the cookies belong to us!"

With that, they went up the chimney and onto the roof, jumping back in the sleigh.

"Wheee! That was fun!" Harley said before handing him a cookie. "Hungry?"

"You can't drive a sleigh pulled by magical reindeer on an empty stomach. Merry Christmas, babe." Joker said as he took the cookie from her.

She smiled at him and gave him a quick kiss before drawing her attention to the cityscape below.

With that, they flew off into the night…


	36. Riddler's New Friend

Well, the New Year's heist was a bad way to start off the year for the villains…now, they were in Arkham and after days of blaming each other for being the ones who screwed up, the Crime Syndicate was finally able to calm down.

One day, Riddler was in Arkham's library and grabbing some books to read. He made his way to his usual table before realizing that someone was already sitting there surrounded by piles upon piles of books.

"Uh, do you mind if I sit here?" Riddler asked.

The person sitting across from him looked up from his book: he looked VERY similar to him with similar hair, glasses, and gloves, but the only differences were his dark brown leather suit and the matching hat that had a reading lamp hanging from it.

"Sure thing." he said while gesturing to the seat across from him.

Riddler smiled at him and placed his books down before raising an eyebrow at his new companion.

"I don't think I've seen you around here much…but whatever, I'm Edward Nygma or The Riddler if you want to use our villain names."

He held out his hand to the man, who shook it.

"I'm Ian Kingor or The Bookworm when it comes to villain names."

Riddler gasped upon hearing his name, asking, "Ian Kingor? Like the writer—" 

"NO! DON'T SAY IT!" Bookworm said while standing up in a rage. "THOSE BOOKS SHOULD'VE BEEN HIGHER ON THE BESTSELLER LIST!"

_Jeez, why do I always get stuck with some of the hotheaded ones? That's a riddle to solve…_Riddler thought.

He watched his new friend's expression slowly calm down and take a deep breath.

"I apologize for that. You can say that I'm…passionately frustrated when it comes to my work."

Riddler nodded at him, not sure how to respond. He wanted to say that he actually liked his books, but now obviously wasn't the best time…

"So, you must really like books. I do too!"

"I LOVE books, I live for books, Nygma! I believe that it's true that you enjoy riddles?" Bookworm asked.

"Are you kidding? I LOVE riddles a ton!" Riddler said with a grin. "Want me to give you one?"

The former writer shook his head and went back to reading his book.

"No, I'm not interested. If you excuse me, I must find more inspiration for my next crime."

_Well, I tried. _Riddler thought with a shrug.

"So, did you know that possession of a printed page in 1480 was a crime punishable by death?"

Bookworm immediately looked up and said, "No, I haven't. Then again, that was the time period where everyone believed the Earth was flat and that the Bible was handwritten on sacred paper."

"Isn't it sad that some people STILL think that the Earth is flat?" Riddler asked.

His new friend nodded, making him smile.

"Tragic, just tragic."

Riddler couldn't believe he was making friends with a former writer that was now a criminal just like him.

"Where have you been all my life?"

"Writing books that never became bestsellers…" Bookworm said before glaring at his stack of books. "DAMN THOSE CRITICS! Sorry about that, I hope you can be used to my meltdowns."

Riddler placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I have an evil split personality, so I hope you can get used to him." he said with a small smile.

Bookworm found himself smiling back at him. If Riddler was as smart as him with similar interests, then this was going to be an interesting start to their friendship…


	37. Meeting the Nerds

Penguin was so relieved to have time to himself after dealing with everyone blaming each other for who got them sent to Arkham after the New Year's incident. Now, he could be at peace and listen to Tchaikovsky.

However, before he could relax, he felt someone poking him.

"Oswald? Ozzy? Oz? Pengy?" Riddler asked as he tried to get his attention.

With a groan, Penguin took off his headphones and stared at his husband, who was standing with someone he didn't know.

"What is it, Ed?" he asked.

"I made a friend!" Riddler said before gesturing Bookworm to go up to him. "This is Ian…or Bookworm if we're to go by villain names."

"What a honor to finally meet the great Oswald Cobblepot…" Bookworm said, shaking his hand.

"Charmed to meet you, Ian." Penguin said.

_This is amazing! _Riddler thought before grabbing Bookworm.

"You REALLY need to meet my best friends!" he said. "You'll fit right in!"

Before he could drag his new friend off, Penguin stopped him.

"Ed, before you go, remember that we have to plan to break out of here." the criminal said.

Riddler nodded and said, "I'll keep it in mind, Pengy!"

With that, he led Bookworm around the area while pointing out everyone he knew.

"So, are you and The Penguin-" he began to say.

"He's my husband! We've got a son too, but he didn't get locked up with us this time." Riddler said with a smile. "You should meet him! He's a great kid."

Bookworm nodded, wondering why he got stuck with such an overly happy criminal who didn't seem evil at all.

Soon enough, they reached a corner of the room where Riddler's friends were: Scarecrow was busy reading the works of HP Lovecraft while Mad Hatter drank tea and watched Music Meister sing.

"Guys, you HAVE to meet my new friend! I think he'll be a good addition to the Mind Games!" Riddler said to his friends as they stopped what they were doing and looked at him.

"The Mind Games?" Bookworm asked.

"It's what we call ourselves." Riddler said, still smiling at him. "Everyone, this is Ian, Ian, this is everyone."

He then sat his friend down with the others as Bookworm stared awkwardly at them.

"HP Lovecraft? I see you're a man of culture…" he said upon seeing Scarecrow's book.

Scarecrow jumped once he heard him speak up and said, "I mainly read his works or Edgar Allan Poe, but I'm glad you enjoy it too."

Bookworm gave him a small smile and started a conversation with the others. It didn't seem too bad after all…


	38. A New Member

The sounds of Killer Croc growling were enough of a signal for the villains to FINALLY break out. Baby Doll and Anarky's distraction had worked successfully and the Crime Syndicate was more than grateful.

"Shit! Here we go again…" a guard said under his breath as the chaos occurred around him.

"RUN! CROC'S GONE INSANE!" another guard said, hiding.

The chaos was purely amazing to the escaping villains while guards scattered and were yelling for backup, groaning at the fact that this was yet another breakout, or hiding in fear.

Joker laughed as he and the other villains ran into the confiscated goods room to get all of their weapons (or in the Ventriloquist's case, Scarface) back.

After helping his husband grab his umbrella, Riddler got a hold of his cane before noticing a bookmark shaped dagger sitting near it. He remembered that Bookworm mentioned that he used it as a weapon.

"What are ya waitin' for, Eddie? Come on!" Harley asked.

Riddler nodded and grabbed the dagger before splitting off from the rest of the group. Even though he needed to escape, he wasn't leaving without his friend.

* * *

Bookworm was peacefully reading in the library when the alarms went off and interrupted his reading time.

"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" he said as he slammed his book onto the table in annoyance.

The former writer ran out of the library and into the chaos. It truly looked like something worth writing about, but now wasn't the best time at all to get ideas for a bestseller.

Bookworm jumped back to prevent a guard from crashing into him before navigating through the asylum's halls. Suddenly, he crashed into Riddler, who happened to be running towards him.

"Ian, I finally found you!" his friend said before tossing him his dagger. "Come on, my friends and I are getting out of here and I want you to come with us."

"I accept your offer…" he said, following him out of the asylum.


	39. VD Special: Villains Love Too

It was Valentine's Day in Gotham City and everyone was busy on dates or ordering pizza for themselves. What they didn't know was that even the villains celebrated it.

"What's the plan for today, puddin'? Are we gonna prank Batman? Go out to dinner? Watch a movie?" Harley asked.

Joker smirked at her and said, "Well, since today's Valentine's Day, I was thinking about having fun as usual."

She grinned and clapped her hands in excitement. They always had so much fun together!

"I say that the first thing we do is give each other gifts and then we do something super fun!"

Joker nodded before grabbing a bouquet of roses nearby.

"Happy Valentine's Day, pumpkin pie."

"Aww, puddin'! You shouldn't have!" Harley said before getting sprayed in the face with the flowers.

Joker laughed and said, "Gotcha!"

Harley smirked at him and gave him a box of chocolates.

"Two can play at this game, Mr. J."

With that, Joker opened the box, only to get punched by a massive glove that popped out of chocolates.

"Oh, Harley…I love you, babe."

The two laughed about their gifts. Now, all they had to do was to perform crimes and have lots of fun…

* * *

Riddler quickly lit the candles on the table and adjusted the plates as he waited for Penguin to show up. He already showered him with gifts, even if it annoyed his husband, so all that was left was a nice romantic dinner.

Soon enough, Penguin arrived as he gazed at the setup.

"You didn't have to do more than what you already did today, Ed." he said as he sat across from him.

"I know, but you mean everything to me." Riddler said before gesturing to the plates. "And I made you peanut butter sandwiches, your favorite."

Penguin took a bite out of the sandwich and gave his husband a small smile.

"You have me convinced. Nice job…"

Riddler smiled while eating his sandwich. How he loved him…

"Aww, thank you, Pengy. You can be so kind when you want to."

Penguin shrugged before placing a pastry box onto the table, saying, "For my Valentine's Day present, I had Patricia make something special for you, so I hope you like it."

His husband excitedly took the box from him and opened it, grinning at the treats inside.

"You had her make me chocolate truffles? Pengy, you're so sweet!" Riddler said, giving him a kiss.

Penguin continued to eat his sandwich.

"No pun intended, I guess?"

Riddler's smile grew larger while he started to shove some of the truffles into his mouth.

"No puns at all."

The two then continued their dinner.

* * *

"I hate you so much, Ivy…" Two Face said while flicking leaves off of his suit.

Being forced into a date with her was the last thing he wanted. All that the former DA wanted to do was possibly hang out with Mr. Freeze, but upon remembering what day it was, he knew that the icy scientist was probably sulking in his lab and talking to his frozen wife.

"Come on, Harvey! I enjoy being in the greenhouse and just casually hanging out." Ivy said as she put her hands on his shoulders.

He grumbled in response and began to flip his coin over and over again. How did everyone else deal with her? Suddenly, he heard music and groaned to himself.

Music Meister came into the room playing the guitar and smiled at them while Ivy laughed.

"Oh hell no!" Two Face said.

"_Sha-la-la-la-la-la my, oh my! Look at that boy's too shy! He ain't gonna kiss the girl!" _Music Meister said.

"You're so ridiculous, Dennis…" Ivy said as she rolled her eyes.

"_Sha-la-la-la-la-la, ain't that sad? Ain't it a shame, too bad. You're gonna miss the girl…" _Music Meister said, playing his guitar.

Two Face flipped his coin and it landed on tails, so he responded by smacking him in the face and saying, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"You have no appreciation for music…" Music Meister said under his breath, fixing his glasses and leaving.

Ivy shrugged and laughed upon seeing the scene. Two Face slammed the palm of his hand against his face before grumbling to himself. This was going to be a long day…

* * *

Catwoman stood on the rooftops and gazed out at the city, waiting for Batman. She fiddled with her whip in boredom to keep herself from going off to rob a jewelry store. A THUNK was heard behind her as she smirked and put her whip away.

"Nice that you were able to show up, Bats…" she said.

"I only took out some low level thugs, so I'm free until the commissioner and the captain have any other criminal for me to take out." Batman said while standing next to her.

Catwoman leaned against the wall while Batman crossed his arms, closely watching the sky for the Bat Signal.

"Tonight's nice, I guess."

"It sure is. Honestly, I'm glad to spend Valentine's Day up here with you."

Batman stared up and saw the Bat Signal shining in the sky.

"It must be that the Baker is at it again…she's always doing this around today and the holiday season." he said. "Sorry, I have to go."

Catwoman kissed him and said, "Go get 'em, tiger."

Batman gave her a salute before running off across the rooftops. She gave him a thumbs up as he went in the direction of the GCPD Headquarters.

* * *

"…And that is why I don't consider the relationship between Noah and Allie as romantic." Bookworm said as he threw the book behind him.

"Oh dear, I can see why…" Mad Hatter said, drinking his tea. "I can't possibly imagine fighting with my love over little things."

Scarecrow sighed to himself and slammed his book shut, saying, "And yet, people still love them together even though it's abuse on both a physical and mental level…"

He growled, taking off his glasses and covering his face.

"What's his problem?" Bookworm asked Mad Hatter.

"I believe he's upset that Harley is spending the day with Joker rather than him." he said. "I'll talk to him."

He moved over towards his best friend while Bookworm sighed and picked up another book. They HAD to get this book club meeting done somehow…

"What do you want, Jervis?" Scarecrow asked as he tapped his glasses on his leg.

"I wanted to make you feel better, so feel free to talk out everything with me." Mad Hatter said.

"It's Harley." his best friend said. "I have no idea what she sees in that clown…"

Mad Hatter sipped his tea and slowly nodded, slightly feeling jealous. He wasn't sure what to say to comfort him.

"You're lonely because today's Valentine's Day and that's okay. Who needs a girlfriend when you have friends?" he asked.

Scarecrow put his glasses back on and turned to Bookworm, saying, "Sorry about all that, Ian. Continue your analysis."

"About time…" Bookworm said. "Allow me to tell you all why Lolita is NOT a love story."

Everyone shivered as he took out the book and opened it.


End file.
